You ever think yourself, “wow, that guy’s baby gravy tasted um, weird?” Literally so has everyone else. So what happens when you ask 1 dude and 6 females tasting cum for ~specifics~ on what they think jizz, fuck juice, or a big fat load tastes like. Here’s what we heard:
“Cum tastes like dirt, some salt, and a Thin Mint.” — Mackenzie H., 24
This is weirdly specific, but okay? Dirt AND Thin Mints? Sounds like someone had too much fun at Girl Scout camp.
“I’d say cum tastes like the worst margarita you’ve ever had.” — Andrea J., 23
Salty? Yup. Sour? You bet. Been tumbling around in one of those slushy machines for a little too long? Yeah, probably.
“It’s bitter and sour at the same time like the thing you’re evolutionarily inclined to reject.” — Addie L., 23
Alright, this is a bit technical take on something that can be referred to as “spooge”, but I guess we can’t say that you’re wrong. If Darwin taught us anything, it’s that we probably shouldn’t be swallowing Ryan’s’ lil swimmers, but hey, he had really nice hair and he’s into The Shins, so w/e.
“Cum tastes like a large, hot, wet pina colada hitting the back of your throat all at once.” — Betsy M., also 23
Yeah, a glob of hot, slimy, coconut, pineapple, rum mush that looks like jizz. That’s not disgusting at all. Oh, wait…
“Shrimp and grits from Cracker Barrel.”– Meghan B., 25
Nothing like pulling off at Exit 110 straight into the Cracker Barrel parking lot, ordering some shrimp and grits, then remembering the time that guy Eric came in your eye and little bit got in your mouth.
“I’m gonna go with a bag of Egg Beaters that’s been sitting out in the fucking sun all day.”– Lauren D., 27
If you weren’t gagging already, the visual here is enough to help you get there.
“Biscuits and gravy but the biscuits aren’t baked, so it’s just biscuit batter with a ton of sausage gravy and for some reason it tastes like coconut?”– Diane M., 22
Wow, okay this sounds very ummm, thick? You sure this guy’s okay?
“Depends on what they’ve been eating/drinking recently, and the consistency is always different. But, an all encompassing term would probably be ‘undesirable’.” — Eric J., 22
If you enjoyed this jizz talk, you’ll love this podcast! It’s called “Talk of Shame”. Tune in and listen to hosts Andrea & Mackenzie talk about sex, relationships, Bumble, and all the things a woman can find in her vagina.