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7 Less Phallic Names for the South Carolina Gamecocks

 

The University of South Carolina is home to a relatively strong sports program. However, it might be even stronger if not for the rather unfortunate mascot of the school– the Gamecock. It’s no secret that this name simply means fighting rooster, but that does not mean that others might take the meaning in a different way. To help the school find a “less” confusing name, here are seven new team name ideas for South Carolina.

 

7.) South Carolina Gamedicks:

 No more suggesting, we’re just allowing the dirty minds of fans to run rampant with this one. One can only imagine the costume the poor mascot would have to wear…

 

6.) South Carolina Gameweiners:

Speaking of mascots, this wouldn’t be the first college mascot that was a house dog. We’ve seen Huskies, Bulldogs, and even a Smokey Dog, and those have worked due to intimidation, but now South Carolina can intimidate with the sheer annoyance of the little fuckers known as wiener dogs.

 

5.) South Carolina Gamepeckers:

This might actually be one of the tamer of the list, as long as one has forgotten the purpose of this list in the first place. Replacing a cock for a pecker might also be one of the smoother transitions in comparison to some of the other options.

 

4.) South Carolina Gamewangs:

The challenge of this name revolves more around the inability to say it name five times fast and not chuckle even the slightest. This is a badass name! Just imagine Williams-Brice Stadium, filled to full capacity, chanting this name. Music to a fan’s ears.

 

3.) South Carolina GameSkinFlutes:

Even if this never could pass as a name for their sports teams, this would have a perfectly justified place as the new name for the school’s band. Tennessee can have the “Pride of the Southland,” Florida can have the “Pride of the Sunshine,” and South Carolina can have the “Pride of the Skin Flutes.”

 

2.) South Carolina Gamevaginas:

Now to make this list a little less sexist, time to add in some feminism. After all, South Carolina is home to numerous women’s teams. It only seems fair to keep them in mind when thinking of new team names.

 

1.) South Carolina GameMaleSexualOrgans:

This one is a mouthful…but this is a list about nicknames for a penis, so it has its place. As far-fetched as this idea may seem at first glance, it is hard to really think of any situation where one would want to mess with someone or something with a name quite as blunt as this. To put into simple terms, don’t fuck with a team when their mascot could literally penetrate you.

 
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