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7 Things UT Should Spend $340 Million on Other Than Neyland

Neyland Stadium might be the pride and joy of the University of Tennessee when the Vols are having a good season, but when the team is struggling like they are this year, it’s hard to validate even spending the $10 to go to the game. The budget gained approval this week from the University of Tennessee board of trustees committee to “bring Neyland Stadium into the modern age.” It’s hard to imagine spending that money to improve a stadium that’s already nice, so The Black Sheep compiled a list of things that UT should spend $340 million at Neyland before remodeling the whole stadium. 

7.) The alcohol policy:
If the university really wanted to get people to go to the games right now, what they should do is change the alcohol policy at the University of Tennessee. It’s already hypocritical that people in the Skybox at UT can have drinks served to them—just give it to the rest of the patrons. You really want to take the crazy fans down a peg? Get them drunk. It’s the sober people causing problems.

6.) The coaching staff:
Why spend all that money renovating a stadium when none of you students want to go to a game under your current coaching staff? It doesn’t make sense to spend money on something that no one is going to use. It’s literally the equivalent of throwing your money into an incinerator. Get rid of Butch now and watch how attendance spikes.

5.) Parking on campus:
Give back to your students, please. Do you know how many nights we have spent trying to find parking at 11 p.m., only to have to circle through all of the lots again and again until some poor sap leaves? People eventually just give up and risk getting a parking ticket because of this. Do you not see the problem?

4.) That weird metal pinecone on PED:
This is more just a question of why this thing exists to begin with. “This! A Startling Whirlwind of Opportunity” is frankly an ugly statue, an eyesore at the best of times, but at times like now when it’s being restored and half of it is missing, putting the money toward this would be better than Neyland. 

3.) Aramark:
The University of Tennessee needs to stop selling out. Sure, they paid for the new Student Union to be built, but now the students have to live with the shitty food they provide for years to come. Why are they always out of food? Seriously, their only job is to provide food—what’s the issue?

2.) Honestly, all of One Stop:
Sure it’s supposed to be an integrated system that compiles all of the issues of student life into one convenient space, but all it really does is come off as a bunch of half-assed departments thrown into one. The system would work so much better if UT separated these out and gave them a more complete staff. C’mon! 

1.) The Student Union lunch lines:
Why on God’s green earth are there so few restaurants on campus? If you want to eat anything between the hours of 9-3, you’d best be prepared to wait for at least 30 minutes. Save the Neyland renovation money and add another three Chick-fil-A’s on campus. All the students want is more chicken nuggets.

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