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We Catfished UTK with the Torchbearer Profile on Tinder

Two weeks ago, droves of single Vols finally caved in and downloaded Tinder after another Valentine’s Day alone. You may think you’ve been single for quite a while, but there’s someone on campus who’s probably got you beat by around 50 years: the Torchbearer. That’s right, folks, iconic campus monuments need love too! The highly romantic staff of The Black Sheep decided to create a Tinder profile to help him out.


We decided to show off our strong, silent friend’s assets with a couple strategic images. The first, like any good profile pic, is a basic well-lit shot where you can see his face — no Snapchat dog filter here! The next, which uses the swipe-right-to-pet-my-dog strategy, was edited together by our highly-adept graphics department (three rats with access to PowerPoint). The third image, of course, shows that the Torchbearer’s abs are hard as…well, metal. We also decided to knock a year or thirty off his age. Yes, he’s been here since 1968, but he’s young at heart! Plus, he still lives on campus, so he can’t be that old.

During the course of this two week definitely-not-catfishing experiment, the Torchbearer matched with over a hundred users with very good taste in monuments. Here’s a couple highlights:


Listen. We really wanted to use the whole pickup line. She wasn’t having it. This conversation was a battle, and she won it.


This guy really warmed the Torchbearer’s cold, metal heart with this compliment. Unfortunately, we panicked in coming up with conversation topics. Apparently sports aren’t what you’re supposed to talk about on dating apps.


We aren’t actually sure what type of metal the Torchbearer is made of, but that’s a great pun regardless.


Looks like the Torchbearer finally scored a date! Who says pickup lines don’t work? Sure, she’s a college sophomore and he’s a fifty-year-old statue, but it might still work. Opposites attract and all that, right?


Believe it or not, not everybody on Tinder is looking for a long-term relationship. Sometimes a direct approach is best. Drew gets it.

 

 

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