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Crazy (But True) Stories From a Former Cumberland Taco Bell Worker

Where else could we find such high-quality cheap food and such dead-eyed workers? With these charms, it’s no surprise that the Taco Bell on the Strip draws all manner of characters through its fingerprint-smeared doors at all hours of the night. However, your wild Friday night might just be some worker’s nightmare. Gary, a former Taco Bell employee, recounted to The Black Sheep many sour encounters he had with students at his celebrated tenure with the Mexican chain. Here’s his three Terrible Taco Tales:

3.) Drunk and just looking to park:
Many of Gary’s encounters arose from the restaurant’s strict parking policy. Only employees and people eating at Taco Bell are allowed to park there, so many problems have arisen from the limited parking at the nearby bars. It’s mainly smoke and mirrors, but some have taken extreme steps to protect their ride.

Gary fondly remembers one student who attempted to remove the sign that detailed the parking rules in an attempt to dodge them. When he was spotted, he cursed Taco Bell and promptly drove off.

2.) The “Battle of the Bell”:
Gary is one of the larger workers at Taco Bell in terms of stature and strength. He claims to be descended from ogres, and used that monstrous blood to act as Taco Bell’s only “bouncer.” On several occasions, Gary has broken up drunken brawls, putting students in headlocks until police arrived. However, some skirmishes are just to much for one man.

An infamous example he recalled involved a post-game lobby filled to the brim with Tennessee and Alabama fans. One bad choice of words later, and, as Gary put it, “the madhouse that ensues when a brawl breaks out in the middle of a fast food restaurant’s lobby is quite a sight to see.” Chairs flew, blood spilled, and chalupas were dashed against the linoleum floors. They could not be stopped, and no winner was declared. Except for Tennessee, who clearly won no matter what you say.

1.) Cardboard:
Still, there remains some shining beacons within the dark days working drive-thru. Taco Bell refuses to serve anyone in the driveway unless they are in a vehicle, which has lead to many drunk students screaming at the drive through menu wonders why they had been banned.

One memory Gary is extremely fond of involves a group of girls who really wanted to use the drive-thru, but were carless. After being denied the first time, they arrived a second time in a cardboard cut-out of a car, with enough room for all four of them to stand comfortably. Upon pulling up to the window, the girls ”drove” off, 12 tacos in tow.


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