There’s really only one thing worth talking about this weekend. You know what it is. Oh yeah, we’re talking about the official release of the 2015 Big Orange Emojis (ahem, we mean, “emoji-like stickers”). You can go ahead and delete that unofficial UT emoji app that you had because this is the real deal.
While most colleges (and people who make emojis) settle for an “app” that you “download” to your “phone” for “ease of use,” UT has taken the road less traveled. Who downloads things anymore? Not us. In fact, we like to manually type http://tntoday.utk.edu/emojis/ into our mobile browsers, navigate to the emoji of our choice, hold a finger down to select copy, then switch back to the messenger and paste that damn emoji. The University of Tennessee, known for easy and user-friendly programs like “One Stop” and “Parking” has brought their revolutionary principle to the world of emoji-like stickers.
And, to top it all off, these emoji are dope. You want a “Ride the T” emoji? Bam, you’ve got it! You want a “Paint the Rock” emoji-like sticker? Well, we’ve got 5 you can choose from (although one of the Rock with three tons of paint slipping off is notably absent). You need an emoji of a shadowy man holding a very bright flare in what is a blatant call for aerial help? It’s there. Or if you’re in the market for an emoji that features every kid’s favorite way to maneuver around campus with a broken leg, well we’ve got an orange scooter emoji-like sticker.
You want a cartoon picture of Smokey in a checkered bib? It’s yours. Or how about an emoji of that one orange building in the Yik Yak loading screen? You can have it. Virtual stickers are the future and these are here to stay. Until something else grabs the attention of our ADD-infested generation and makes us forget all about them.
Of course, we (and you) love these emojis, but let’s be honest—there’s room for improvement. Thankfully, the Office of Communications and Marketing has promised consistent updates to this pack. But what to add?
We could do with two or three Jalen Hurd emojis. And we definitely need more Rock stickers—this emoji pack is only 30% Rock stickers! What the hell, UT? And look, let’s be honest with ourselves: the Neyland stadium emoji-like sticker looks a lot like a toilet bowl. Would the late great Robert Neyland be pleased with this portrayal of the stadium that bears his name? We highly doubt it. But we needed to hear what the people thought. So, we ventured out to Pres Court, and asked the fresh meat what could be improved in the next version of this emoji pack.
Here’s what they said:
Tanner (freshman): “There’s not nearly enough sexual assault emojis. Or traffic cones. When I think UT, I think traffic cones.”
Parker (freshman): “Is there a butt-chugging emoji? Because there should be.”
Darren (freshman): “Like, I dunno……I mean….. are there any gender-neutral emojis?”
Laura (Parker’s girlfriend): “Don’t talk to me.”
So there you have it. The people have spoken. The “Big Orange Emoji-like Sticker” pack is an unmitigated success (success by UT standards is a relative term). But don’t let this success get to your head, UT. Just like this campus, there’s always room for improvement.