With UT’s loss in the second round of the March Madness tournament to Loyola-Chicago, the boys end their basketball season much earlier than many excited Vols fans wanted to see. A defeat to an 11-seed team felt pretty embarrassing, but now that we’re out of the running, it’s time to make fun those who fared even worse. Let’s sit back, relax, and laugh at everyone else.
5.) Nevada gets risqué:
After an impressive comeback victory over Texas in round one of the tournament, Nevada head coach Eric Musselman decided to release his inner Hulk Hogan and rip the t-shirt from his body in locker room celebration. The stripping strategy, however, couldn’t carry Nevada past Loyola-Chicago, perhaps because of Sister Jean’s disapproval.
4.) Alabama forgets it’s not football:
After barely squeaking by Virginia Tech in the first round, Alabama was unable to overcome Villanova in the second round. Many Alabama fans seemed rather surprised to see the old Crimson Tide stop rolling. Was it the wrong game? Was the “team” just a group of fans wearing their favorite players’ jerseys? Whatever the reason, it’s safe to say that Alabama fans will be hibernating until it is time to start trash talking for football season again.
3.) Problems in the UNC:
Reigning champions North Carolina did not even touch the Sweet Sixteen. Losing by twenty-one to Texas A&M in round two, the Tar Heels seem to have gotten weighed down by literal tar. At least they got a victory in the first round over Lipscomb? Whoo-hooo.
2.) The NCAA won’t let Sister Jean make bank from her bracket:
If the tournament so far has taught us anything, it’s that having a nun on your side works miracles. Sister Jean has prayed Loyola-Chicago to the Final Four, but NCAA regulations keep her from entering her bracket in any March Madness pools. Like, come on. It’s about corruption or whatever, but she’s literally a nun.
1.) The historic ass-kicking of Virginia:
A moment of silence to the TVs and appliances that were broken by Virginia fans, as they, the No. 1 overall-seeded team in the tournament, fell to the lowest-seeded UMBC in historic fashion. It would be different if it had been a last-second victory, but Virginia was squashed worse than their four-loss streak in last year’s college football season. It is not necessarily the fact that Virginia lost to the virtually last-place team that makes this so shocking – it is the fact that they lost to a team with a Golden Retriever for a mascot. Who’s a good boy?!
With great sports comes great upsets and chaos, and March Madness has had no shortage of either. With the finals still yet to take place, there is still plenty of time to choose a winner – and jump on the Loyola-Chicago victory boat!
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