You would have to be living under a rock to have never heard of Uptown Bar and Grille on the Strip here in Knoxville. But during the past week, one of The Black Sheep’s staff saw something that they’d never seen before: a guy hop the wall at Uptown and walk into the bar in one fluid motion. After hearing about the unusual feat, some questions came to mind for the Uptown daredevil.
7.) Did you lose your fake or just forget your actual ID?:
Do you live in the back of the Fort and leave it there or something? It’s not like it is super hard to get into Uptown, dude. They have one of the laxest policies out of all the bars on the Strip. It’s pretty hard to get rejected from the bar, but shout to you for doing the Lord’s work.
6.) Do you always live this dangerously?:
Why run the risk of getting kicked out for hopping the wall? There is always a cop at the entrance to Uptown checking IDs with the bouncer. Why take the extra step of hopping the wall with all of that security literally checking people in on the same wall? It just doesn’t make sense.
5.) Was the line just too long for you to wait?:
This one seems to make more sense. The line at Uptown can get pretty long at night, so getting impatient seems reasonable if you’re a little buzzed and all your friends are inside. Who wouldn’t hop the wall if they could? If you’re strong enough and sneaky enough, why not go for it?
4.) How did you do that so smoothly?:
The most shocking part out of all of this is the fact that the wall climb was executed so smoothly. Were you sober when you did this? Maybe that’s why you were trying to get in so badly; you just really needed a drink. But shout out to you for sticking the landing. There’s not a lot of sober people who could do that.
3.) Are more people using this same method of entry?:
Has this been going on, but people just haven’t noticed it? If that’s true, then it’s actually kind of impressive. Is there some kind of parkour class that’s offered on campus that only the select few who sneak into Uptown know about? Either way, if there are more people doing this, then it needs to be brought into the light. Not because they need to be punished or anything, but honestly, it’s just impressive.
2.) Are you using performance-enhancing drugs?:
To be able to perform such an act in high-stress situations takes some serious training. It would be less impressive if you were using drugs to reach the same result. Jumping a wall is an accomplishment, and it would be sad to take them away because you’re using steroids. Also as a side note, Viagra doesn’t count.
1.) How did almost no one notice you?:
Are you a ninja? That sounds like a joke, but it’s a really serious question. To move in and out of spaces with very few people noticing you is basically any introvert’s wet dream. It’s a skill that could become really useful in life when you’re trying to hide from all of your responsibilities in life. Have fun moving like a ghost from place to place, dude.
Listen to our podcast and subscribe, ninja.