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SEC East Mascots Gather for Group Therapy

While the SEC East continues to be called “the weakest group in college football” (a relief for the Sun Belt conference), the inevitable remains — that one team must face Alabama for the SEC Championship on December 3, 2016. Whether fans want to take this with excitement or worry, it’s clear how many of the SEC East mascots are feeling.

Today marks the first official meeting of the SEC East Mascot Group Therapy. Each mascot from the division is invited to attend this weekly meeting wherein each mascot can discuss fears or concerns dealing with the possibility of being the lucky (or unlucky) team to play the undefeated Alabama Crimson Tide.

Just minutes after session one finished for the day, Tennessee mascot Smokey had some comments regarding his state of mind on the game: “I knew this would happen. It seems as if every year Tennessee fans claim it to be ‘our year,’ things like this happen. I tried convincing the team to just stop trying — unfortunately, only the entire defense and Jalen Hurd listened to me.”  

The current leader in the SEC East is Florida, but Florida must defeat LSU in their rescheduled game to keep its lead. When asked about the possibility of losing top position, Florida mascot, Albert, had some choice words: “wait, we can still get out of this game? Let me call Jim McElwain right now and give him the good news!”

It’s also being reported that next week, Big Al will be dropping into next week’s session to attempt to assure the SEC East mascots that they have might have a chance at only looking a little ridiculous after the SEC Championship game. When this news broke , Vanderbilt’s Mr. Commodore had the following comments: “it’s a damn good thing Vandy never has to worry about making it to the championship game.”

As the weeks pass by, it’s only a matter of time before the SEC East has a definitive winner, who will ultimately become the definitive loser.

Something so bad, 12 beers later, is so, so good.

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