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Shit You’re Just Way Too Old For at the University of Tennessee

The longer you spend at the University of Tennessee, there be things that you’ll be way too old to do. As your classes get harder and your homework takes longer, you just won’t have the same time and energy that you did as a freshman. It’s all part of the experience. The Black Sheep got together and made a list of 6 things that you’re just too damn old for:

6.) Frat parties:
Does this one really need an explanation? Let’s be real: frat parties are a freshmen’s stomping ground. As you get older, you might say, “I am still friends with so many of the guys, and it is just good to see them.” But at the same time, you have to know that free alcohol will only get you so far and happy for so long.

5.) Holding hands on campus:
This isn’t middle school. A college campus is not the ideal location for PDA, and it is definitely not a place for canoodling in that regard. There is a time and a place for everything. Blocking the sidewalk, while the rest of us are going to class, is definitely not the thing to do.

4.) All-nighters
Sleep is important as you become an old man, and all of those all-nighters take a toll. They are hard on your mental, psychological, and emotional state. Your body can only take so much before it breaks. You need to take it easier on yourself, so take a long look in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and apologize to that tired person looking back.

3.) 8 a.m.’s: 
You have the rest of your life to get up for work at 8 a.m. You don’t need to start punishing yourself when you can do that for the rest of your life. Real life is hard, and you should enjoy the college experience while you can.

2.) Uptown
Let’s get straight to the point on this one: Uptown is a great bar to blow off some steam and have fun when you’re young and reckless, but once you’re a junior and senior, you need to upgrade to a big boy bar. It’s time to hit up the Beans or the Old City. If you have made it this long at Knoxville, then you deserve a better bar scene.

1.) Netflix and chill: 
As you get older, you begin to outgrow this whole idea. You’re looking for something more deep and meaningful (well probably, anyway), and it’s a good as time as any to start looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. And while there’s nothing wrong with something fun and casual, it’s just a good time to narrow your field down to a few partners rather than a harem.

Nothing on this list is bad in moderation, but there is just no way to function when you’re doing these all the time. And that’s the goddamn truth.

Listen to our podcast, geezer! 

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