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The Black Sheep’s Six-Step UTK Workout Plan

Have you been hitting PCB and Stokely’s desert station a little too hard? Forgetting beer has calories? Is the T-Recs just too intimidating? Whatever the reason, many Vols have put on the freshman 15 (or the sophomore 15, or the super-senior 15). Luckily, we at The Black Sheep have decided to study up on sports “science” and help you come up with a between-classes workout plan to suit your busy lifestyle.

6.) Hot yoga in the Smokey suit:

It’s been scientifically proven (or something) that sweaty yoga is better for you than regular yoga. What better way to sweat AND show your school spirit than to get flexible in a Smokey mascot suit? Call that a Downward Dog! We were unable to demonstrate this one, but it’s pretty self-explanatory — just figure out where they keep the suit, get your heist on, and go join a yoga class!

5.) Track and Field (ft. UT’s construction):

UT will forever be under construction, so you might as well use those roadblocks for leg day. We recommend pole vaulting over the chain-link fences, but using those caution things as hurdles is just as good. Traffic cones, while a bit inconvenient, are great for your agility. Or something.

4.) Get through that one door at Hodges, you know the one:

Have you ever been publicly humiliated by that one incredibly heavy door? Your noodle-like arms may not have been able to heave it open with anything resembling grace, but you know what they say about life giving you lemons. Just a couple reps of this exercise and you’re well on your way to working off that Frappuccino you bought on your way out.

3.) You knew we had to mention the Hill:

We get it, you hate walking up the Hill. Stop complaining and start annoying people by blasting, “Eye of the Tiger” and doing some sprints. Your calves will soon be known as the eighth Wonder of the World. Get ready for people to start asking if you’re on the football team, or for them to step over you when you pass out from exhaustion. Win some, lose some, right?

2.) Sprints (after the T-Link):

Your professor only accepts assignments during the first five minutes of class, and you thought you had time to get something from Dunkin’ Donuts before speed-walking to AMB. Wrong! You realize that you way misjudged how long that line would take, and now you’d better catch the bus. Good thing you trained for this!

1.) Jumping over the Seal:

Sure, you risk not graduating in four years if you step on the Seal. But maybe that’s the exact type of motivation you need to push yourself! If you can clear the Seal, you can do anything – maybe even go to that Spin class you’ve been meaning to catch.

Know anyone at one of these schools? Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $100 if they’re hired!



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