Ah, homecoming. The time of year when, some for some strange reason, the University of Tennessee pretends that it is a high school (remember to vote for the popularity contest Homecoming Court!). In light of what is clearly the university’s desire to recapture the worst parts of high school, The Black Sheep has decided to play along. Presented here, for the first time, is The Black Sheep’s Homecoming Superlatives for the Volunteer Football Team.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, renaissance man and heir apparent to Peyton Manning’s forehead Josh Dobbs has been selected as “Most Likely to Succeed.”
Most Likely to Average 0.3 Yards per Game: Josh Malone
Most School Spirit: Jalen Hurd
To be fair, this was low hanging fruit. Maybe a better superlative would be “Most Likely to Already be Removed from the Official Football Roster.”
Most Likely to Benefit from Jalen Hurd’s Sudden Departure: Taeler Dowdy
Taeler Dowdy, freshman player and spell-check nemesis, is not at the top of anyone’s superlative list – except ours, that is! Now that attention hog Jalen Hurd is gone, Dowdy has a chance to change his average -3 yards per game into something slightly less embarrassing.
Most Likely to be Impersonated on Snapchat: Cam Sutton
If you haven’t read this story, do so. It’s incredible.
Most Likely to be Awarded the Andy Spiva Defensive Player at the 2014 Orange and White Game: Corey Vereen
Classic Corey, always winning the Andy Spiva Defensive Player at the 2014 Orange and White Game.
Coolest Guy Named Jalen: Jalen Reeves-Maybin