With Halloween on the horizon, it’s time for Vols to suit up in some great costumes. Here are the top 10 Vol Halloween costumes for you to choose from.
10.) The Spirit of the Hill:
Basically, you forgot to get a costume until the last minute or you assumed no one was actually going to wear one until you showed up at your friend’s house and everyone’s fully in character. Either way the best last-minute costume for any Vol is the Spirit of the Hill. You remember those Charlie Brown cartoons where everyone’s dressed up as ghosts in sheets with holes cut out for eyes? It’s exactly that only with an orange sheet. Throw that on and explain yourself to everyone all night, you may get some pity laughs.
9.) Jimmy Cheek:
What could be scarier than the living embodiment of evil and tyranny? If you’re going for the truly terrifying Vol costume, Jimmy Cheek is the best bet. Obviously a suit and orange tie isn’t enough, try carrying around a couple million bucks or have a few of your friends shackled behind you paying off their eternal debt to you.
8.) A Crane and Wrecking Ball:
Looking for an entertaining couple costume? Throw out that old plug and socket shit and get in the Vol spirit. How better to represent your Vol spirit than to embody the majestic crane and wrecking ball, our campus’ most abundant wildlife?
7.) Traffic Cone:
A similar commentary on our school’s construction issue. The traffic cone is a tried and true Vol costume. Strategically stand in the most inconvenient places at whatever parties you go to and you’ll achieve the full effect of the cone zone.
6.) Stearl the Pearl:
You’re a DJ by night, and you want everyone at the party to know. What better way to throw your success in everyone’s face than to dress up as your inspiration? Stearl the Pearl is the greatest DJ Knoxville has ever known, and possibly the world, capture his vibe and you’ll be mixing your own tracks soon.
5.) Vol for Afterlife:
A Vol twist on the classic zombie. You can either dress up as a current football player or as one of the many VFLs we see every Saturday. Suit and orange tie, easy to get a hold of, then just add a little makeup, some fake stitches, black eyes. Zombiefy yourself and you’re done.
4.) A Fourth Quarter:
If you’re an asshole, this is the costume for you. What’s the worst thing for most Vol football fans right now? The fourth quarter. There are a couple of ways to pull off this shitty look. You could make yourself the scoreboard accentuate that 4 and the clock running out on the Vols. Or if you’re a cheap bastard along with a sadist, you can just tape four quarters to your shit and circle the last one. This can also double as a symbolic middle finger to Georgia fans, who suffered from a brutal fourth quarter at the hands of Space Dobbs.
3.) The Big Orange Screw:
One of the best ways to scare a Vol is to walk around ominously dressed as a big orange screw. Take this costume real literally here, we’re talking an actual screw. Stand by some people’s cars and beckon UTPD or follow your friends around between their midterms.
2.) Street Preacher:
Get yourself a soap box to stand on and a giant poster to hold up. A megaphone can also come in handy. Have fun screaming Psalms and Proverbs at everyone who walks past you. Halloween is Satan’s birthday and you can’t let your fellow Vols forget it.
1.) The Whirlwind of Opportunity:
You know that ugly-as-hell structure in the middle of Pedestrian Walkway? Yeah that one that they just added lights to for no understandable reason other than to highlight its dusty shittiness. You’ll have to think of interesting way to wrap yourself up in some tin foil and hold a yellow pinwheel all night, but maybe it’ll finally convince someone to get rid of it and put something useful there. But we’re not holding onto too much hope.