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5 Ways to Lie About How You’ve Supported UT Basketball All Along

UT’s football season has left a sour taste in the mouths of many, but the bitterness of the post-Butch Jones era has been slowly pushed back by the basketball team’s great season so far. However, there’s one problem: You have always been a football person. You are going to look like a real idiot if you jump on the UT basketball bandwagon now. We have some options to keep your pride intact.

5.) Keep up with all the teammates:
This one is the simplest and requires the least monetary investment. Just track down the social media pages of every player on the team and learn as much as you can about their lives. Astound your friends with your intricate knowledge of Jordan Bone’s eating habits. This is the age of social media, privacy is dead! The sky’s the limit.

4.) Get a basketball tattoo:
One of the most effective ways to show your loyalty to a team you didn’t care about until this month. Just permanently ruin your skin with a hasty decision based solely on keeping your pride. However, if you want to make sure that it looks like you have had this tattoo for years, you are gonna have to go the extra mile and track down someone with a UT basketball tattoo, pay them an agreed-upon amount, and have their tattoo grafted onto your skin. Just make sure to come up with a good excuse about the scars.

3.) Become a sponsor of the team:
This one is gonna be a little costly, but your reputation is on the line. Money is no object when it comes to that. Now, you might want to get your parents in on the plan and try to take out a mortgage on the house, because you will need the money to afford your name in lights and your ringside sponsor sign.

2.) Adopt a child and name them after a player:
What greater way to show your support than to permanently brand a child with the name of one of the players? Who cares if they are a boy or a girl–they will surely be ecstatic to live under your roof with the name of college basketball player. At this point, though, you are most likely hemorrhaging a lot of funds paying for everything on top of this child, so consider selling off some of those organs you do not need, such as one of your lungs.

1.) Start a cult:
The ultimate show of allegiance. Slowly build a following as you turn into the worst kind of person: a street preacher. Praise the divinity of Rick Barnes. Sacrifice a basketball everyday in a show of worship. Hold masses outside Thompson-Boling. Eventually, it will catch on and you will leave a legacy as the ultimate UT basketball fan. Plus, you can probably put it on your resume as a startup.

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