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Um, So, What’s The F**ks Going On With The Bull Statue?

Looking for some on-campus fine art to contemplate? You really only have three options: go with the Torch Bearer and be a basic bitch, go with the statue on Ped Walkway and spend the entire time trying to derive any meaning from the collection of random lego bricks, or you go with the Bull. The Bull, while not necessarily out of place, does seems strange, as UT has no relations to bull imagery whatsoever. So, what’s with UTK’s Bull statue? We aren’t art majors, but we’ve come up with a list of the Bull’s most confusing features.

5.) It’s actually a replica of another statue:

bull statue
The statue is actually a replica constructed after the statue “Europa and the Bull” by Carl Milles, which currently stands in Stockholm, Sweden. Later, students chose to pay tribute to the statue by recreating it, which was received so well that it was chosen to be put up by administrators. So, there’s hope for you yet. If art students can get by without using their own creativity, then you could get a statue on campus, too! So get to work on that recreation of The Statue of David by Michelangelo — with Smokey’s head.

4.) The orange water looks like blood:

orange water
If you haven’t noticed yet, during game season, the water in the fountain will sometimes be dyed orange in a not-at-all-tacky show of support. However, you wouldn’t necessarily be off base to believe it looked like blood, as it does take on a nice red when viewed at a distance. Or we might just be colorblind. Oh, well — we bleed orange here at UT, right?

3.) The woman is so apathetic:

apathetic woman
Just look at her. She’s being kidnapped, but her face looks like it’s the end of an 8 a.m. lecture and that asshole Ryan just asked the professor a complicated question. She has the face of a mother whose son was arrested for pissing in public, but he was always a disappointment so there’s no reason to be surprised. The image this statue is trying to convey is one of motion as the bull charges through the seafoam to relieve some stress, but she couldn’t care less.

2.) The Bull’s weird tongue:

Another interesting feature is the long tongue sliding from the bull’s mouth, hoping to intertwine between Europa’s fingers. It’s like a member of KISS, or maybe that one girl on Tinder who always has her tongue out in selfies. Maybe it’s a metaphor, or maybe the artist just had a fetish. It wouldn’t be surprising, given all the other weird shit that’s happening with the statue.

1.) …The penis:

We have to refer to the elephant in the room: let’s talk about the penis. It is most definitely the most striking feature on the statue, with its length being comparable to a medium-sized dog. His massive baloney pony, while an eye catcher, leaves us with more questions than answers. Our, ahem, “biggest” question: why did the artist lovingly create a hyper-realistic giant bull schlong?

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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