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The Black Sheep

Booze Review: Not Your Father’s Mountain Ale

Mountain Dew is a pillar of American culture—it’s loaded with sugar, artificially colored to resemble nuclear waste, and keeps you going through your 60-hour work week. Simply put, Mountain Dew is a near-perfect beverage. Thankfully, the kind folks at Small Town Brewery have blessed us with Not Your Father’s Mountain Ale—a fantastic rendition of Dew with the punch of alcohol. Here’s our Mountain Ale review:


Grade: A

Smells Like:
Comfort, nostalgia and a dash of citrus.

Tastes Like:
The ichor of the gods. Seriously, try it.


Typical Drinkers:
– Neckbeards on their 21st birthday.

– Dudes who want something sweet but are too ashamed to buy Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

– Dwarves in the depths of the Appalachians.

– Hillbillies in the depths of the Appalachians.

– Nostalgic college students who cut soda out of their diet but continue to drink beer.


User Comments:
– “This fine ale pairs quite well with White Cheddar Cheetos.”

– “Wow, this really brings me back…Things used to be so simple. Where has the time gone? Mother, I miss you!”

*indecipherable drawl*

– “I told you dude, it’s not soda! What am I, 12? Try it bro, there’s alcohol in this.”

Would It Be Lame To Drink This At A Party?:
Yeah, it’s worth it though. Besides, you can pour it into a red cup for an easy workaround.

Is It Better Than Mountain Dew?:
There’s no need to pit two strong, independent beverages against each other. You should be ashamed of yourself.

How Does This Compare To My Father’s Mountain Ale?:
It’s a lot sweeter, with fewer dust particles. Also, far lower in alcohol content—even though we don’t talk about your drinking problem, it exists. Drink responsibly. 

We Mixed it With:
A basement full of dudes and an all-night World of Warcraft sesh.

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