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Berkxit Passes, Cal Exits the University of California System


The referendum for the University of California at Berkeley to leave the University of California system, dubbed “Berkxit,” passed yesterday by a slight majority. Berkeley will no longer be a part of the University of California system, which previously contained nine different undergraduate campuses.


Nicholas Winfield, who spearheaded the “Berkxit” campaign, told The Black Sheep, “We are the number one public university in the country. That’s right. Number one! Number one! We are no longer dragged down by other UCs. Let this monumental vote go down in history. This is our Cal Day!”


Many Berkeley students voted to leave based on a desire to distance the reputation and culture of Berkeley from the other UCs.


Sophomore public health student Miguel Herrera said, “To hell with UC Santa Barbara, we don’t want anything to do with them or their STDs.”


Senior molecular cell biology student Sam Rose said, “UC Santa Cruz. The Banana Slugs? Good riddance. We already have enough hippies here as is. Thank you very much.”


“What the fuck is a UC Merced?” asked freshman legal studies student Lily Hess.


The campaign was primarily concerned with abolishing shared programs between the UC campuses, such as study abroad and library access, as well as making transferring from community college more difficult. The departure stipulates cutting off all state funding, leaving UC Berkeley in a tremendous budget crisis. Although Berkxit has financially devastated the university, many students stand by the decision.


Sophomore chemical engineering student Kate Towns said, ”In the end it’s worth it. Being part of the UC system makes it easier for those kids from community college to transfer here and we don’t want that. We just need to have the right types of people here. You know, the people who deserve to be here. And the other UC’s aren’t great either. Who wants some kid from UC Davis hanging out in our library, doing God knows what? Not me.”


In the wake of the Berkxit vote, Chancellor Nicholas Dirks stepped down. “This is the direction the students of UC Berkeley have chosen to go and they need new leadership to lead them on this path,” Dirks said during a press conference.

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