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Cal Students Excited To ‘Put Their Parent’s Credit Card to Work’ This Weekend

Today marks the start of parents weekend — a time in which UC Berkeley does anything it can to bolster its reputation for the sake of donations, and Cal students can get a decent meal.

In an interview about his expectations for parent’s weekend, freshman Mark Ruiz exclaimed, “I’ve been eating vegan ‘food’ — essentially cardboard with some sauce, at Cafe 3 for the past two months. It’s about time my parents buy me some real food.”

Others shared the same sentiments. “My parents are coming all the way from New Jersey to visit me. I can’t wait to spend time with them at all the restaurants on Shattuck and College that I’ve made reservations at, for this weekend,” Sophomore Kayla Brian stated while buying some stuff off Amazon with her parents’ credit card.” “They have such a good credit score. Oh, and they are fun to be around.”

Students seem eager to put their parent’s credit cards to work this weekend. “It’s my third year here, and I still haven’t told my parents that I stopped being pre-med after two weeks of being at Berkeley,” said junior Devon Lowry. “So, every year when they visit, I have them buy me as much stuff as possible, because once they find out that I am a philosophy major headed for unemployment, they will be extremely disappointed, and I will be cut off.”

While many students expressed their excitement for this weekend’s free food, some students showed excitement for other reasons.

“I am so excited to see my parents, they are bringing me a bag of clothes that I forgot at home,” freshman Stacy Green stated, “I can’t wait to Game Day in the white skirt they’re bringing me, while they sit in their hotel room. This weekend is seriously going to be so fun!”

Still, others were mad their parents were coming at all.

“I don’t think my parents understand what EECS is. They made an itinerary for every minute of the whole weekend, but I have two midterms on Monday, a group project on Tuesday, and I am supposed to shower on Wednesday,” junior Kevin Johnson explained. “I am screwed and not excited. My mom is going to give me a tub of sunscreen and lecture me about cleaning my room.”

Parent’s weekend sure seems like it is going to be great. Aside from the free food, you will continually get asked about protests and your safety, and hey, you might even get to tell your parents that you’re failing, or depressed! Have a fun weekend, and go bears!

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