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Party’s Over At Cal 2.0™: It’s The Geeds’ Time To Shine

There’s a phenomenon that’s been ravaging Greek Life across the University of California, Berkeley, and not a single fraternity appears immune: that’s right, it’s Party’s Over At Cal 2.0™. From ATO’s never ending social probation, to fire alarms being pulled everywhere, prestigious establishments like DKE and KA just can’t seem to catch a break. Whatever is one to do in these trying times? Take a leaf of of the Book of Geeds: here are some great alternatives to spending your weekend in the stale-beer smelling sticky-floored sweaty-mess that is a frat house.

8.) Actually do your readings:
You know how at the beginning of the semester you told yourself that maybe this year, maybe this year you would actually do all your readings? Or at least one reading per class per week? Or really at least just one reading overall? Newsflash: it’s February 16; time to crack open that course reader for GWS 50. You may even alleviate some of that guilt you’ve been harboring for buying $200 textbooks each semester, knowing full well that they’ll never see the light of day.

7.) Hike the Big C:
Other than during your forced bonding at GBO, when have you ever bothered to do this? Great views, and a great place for underage drinking and smoking picnics with friends!

6.) Clean your sheets:
Remember when you went off to college and promised your mom you’d wash your sheets at least once every two weeks? Well, have you washed them even once this semester? Our guess is no. C’mon, Becky, wash that night with Brad from Phi Psi off your sheets. You’ll feel a lot better.

5.) Join a cult:
Seeing as you’re already in Greek Life you’re like 60% of the way there, anyway. Might as well go the other 40%!

4.) Organize another coup in BCR:
Quite frankly they’ve been suuuuuuuper fucking boring recently. Since you can’t throw down anyway, get the rest of your ATO brothers to join in the fun of overthrowing the current establishment!

3.) Drop acid and break into all the Co-Ops:
From all the different completely safe swings all the co-ops seem to have to CZ’s numerous disturbing paintings, you’re guaranteed to have the best then worst trip of your life! Who doesn’t enjoy a good ol’ fashioned emotional rollercoaster.

2.) Call your grandparents:
They miss you. Just do it.

1.) Contemplate the fact that we are situated literally right on top of a fault line:
Have you ever stopped to think “huh, basically the entirety of our campus is sitting on top of a faultline that hasn’t had a major earthquake in 144 years. That’s a lot of pressure to be building up. If the big earthquake comes then we’re all dead. We probably should be more worried about this. Why did I choose to go to school here again?” ? Because if not, it’s fucking terrifying. But don’t worry, you’ll be back at a frat soon to drink this thought out of your memo… Oh wait.

While nothing can ever really compete with a #sickfratparty, we hope that these have given you some inspiration for fun activities to engage in this long weekend!

 

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