It’s the most wonderful time of the year//With the kids all frat hopping//And stoners moke chopping and drinking some beer//It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Yup, that’s right: Cal Day—aka the one day some of us don’t completely regret our decision to come here—is right around the corner. To help you make the most out of your day, here’s a list of things to get you on your merry way.
10.) A great attitude and a big ol’ smile:
So everyone knows your totally not depressed and don’t hate yourself and your school!
9.) Your weekend 1 Coachella wristband:
You know what goes great with an armful of bids? A CHELLA BAND haha yeah. Everyone will know how super sick you are. Wow, you must party a lot. Got any extra molly on you?
8.) A high school ID card:
This one’s a win-win: KA will let you in (especially if you’re white, blonde, from SoCal, and can surf—they like to recruit early) AND you can hook up with questionably-legal kids. Yippee!
7.) A high schooler:
Is it even Cal Day if you don’t have to show at least one weird kid you talked to a total of three times from your high school (and probably their parents) around? Good luck trying to convince them that you haven’t been drinking since 6a.m.!
6.) Your coolest California lingo:
Make sure every soon to be Cal student knows you hella cool by using all your hippest Cali talk bruh. Bonus points if you’re from the East Coast. Radical!
5.) A Juul (and realistically extra pods):
An obvious necessity for frat parties at this point. If you aren’t addicted to nicotine again are you even a millennial?
Do you even have any Cal spirit if you don’t put glitter all over your face? We think not.
3.) Your non-sorority sorority shirt:
Of course, PHC rules strictly prohibit sororities from wearing their letters to frats on Cal Day, but never fear: all the prospective freshmen are sure to remember your house after seeing you scream “ALPHA PHI! ALPHA PHI!” in matching shirts while chugging shitty champagne from the bottle and dancing on a table in the front lawn of DKE with all your sisters.
2.) A morph suit:
Feeling a little extra spirited? Or maybe you just don’t like the shirt your house got for Cal Day. Either way, there’s no better way to show off how much you “love” Cal than by wearing a bright blue morph suit. Bonus points for pairing it with a yellow tutu!
On the real, hydration is key. Stay safe, drink responsibly bears!
With all these things at the ready, you’re sure to have a Cal Day to remember (or not haha am I right?? SO cool! Yay drinking!).
Know anyone at one of these schools?
UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!
Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired!