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5 Types of UCD Art Freaks You’ll Encounter in Your Art Class

UC Davis has a thriving art community, and students from all walks of life participate in our expansive art majors. As an art major, however, students often embody personas far greater than the replica Picasso they turned in as a midterm would give them credit for. If you have never taken an art class before and this is your first quarter experiencing the zany quirks of art majors, you’ll need preparation. It’s not easy to handle the amount of starving artists trying to obtain a degree best meant for being displayed on a wall as a reminder that you actually got a university degree in art appreciation. So, here are just 5 types of people you might find in your UC Davis art class.

5.) The Business Artist™:
Usually an illustrator or graphic designer, this person desperately needs a job. Either they have student loans to pay off, or they’re just all about that dough, but they know that selling paintings is not the way to bring in the big bucks. They go to conferences, have a portfolio that they obsess over, and have 36 interviews scheduled in the next month. Their life goal is to one day have enough clients that they can complain about their clients.

4.) The Hippie:
This person lives in a co-op and has an unfortunate combination of dreads and elephant-print skirts. They try to do art in “experimental media,” which sounds cool but ends up being paintings made with bodily fluids. For their more normal art, they are into crafting and have an Etsy page. They have been trying to get a booth at the Whole Earth Festival for years. They believe being one with nature is the only way to reach your full potential. They reached their full potential when they went to the UC Davis Health Center after jumping on the Raw Water trend. You haven’t paid attention to anything they’ve said in class since they asked, “When you think about it, isn’t the whole world a type of art?”

3.) The Art Scene Artist:
This person sits at the front of the class and can be identified by their turtleneck and plastic-rimmed glasses. You’ve never seen any art they’ve made, but you have seen them at every art event on campus. In class, they leave out flyers for art showcases that their friends are in. Outside of class, you can find them at the John Natsoulas Gallery, attending poetry slams, and snapping after every poem. They aren’t a musician, but they still have a Bandcamp profile. They smoke, but only ironically.

2.) The Art Critic:
Probably an art history major that has decided to take a few studio classes. May or may not have original opinions about art. Their favorite phrase is “reminiscent of.”  This is the only art studio class they are taking since the rest of their schedule is filled up entirely with classes about Caravaggio. They are invariably a painter or a sculptor. They want the class to know how Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling. They own several coffee table books.

1.) The Abstract Artist:
This person has achieved the level of artsy weirdness that James Franco has been trying to reach since 2010. They work mainly in installation art and performance art and have never made sense in their life. Their last work was literally just a deflated basketball mounted on a stand. They think the studio class you’re in is “banal.” No one on Earth is deep enough to appreciate their art. They want their art to force people to question the issue of “What Is Art?” The answer is usually “not this.”

So if you’ve found yourself enrolled in one of many art classes that UCD has to offer this quarter, then good luck, and brace yourself for a lot of “artists” living out their artistic dreams–at least for a 50-minute class. 

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