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7 Things That Should Be Illegal at UCD

UC Davis isn’t perfect. We all love to hate on the cow smells, Gunrock, and the smallness of our town — but still these aren’t things that we actually want to change, because these things make Davis. But what about those few things we can (and definitely should) change? Here are seven things that should definitely be illegal here:

7.) Midterms in Weeks 9:
Professors are all up in our business about making sure we don’t wait until the last minute to study for our finals, but if we’ve got to study for yet ANOTHER midterm right before our final, what are we supposed to do? By weeks 9 and 10, we’ve all basically given up on life already and we need to save whatever energy we have left for finals, not for the thousandth midterm in a class. Do they want us to fail?!

6.) Assignments due after Picnic Day:

It’s not like it’s any secret that the majority of students spend their Picnic Day getting absolutely trashed and use the following Sunday to recover. So why do professors have to crush our dreams by making assignments due the Monday after Picnic Day, or worse, giving a midterm that day? Can we have one break in Spring Quarter? Can you cut us some slack? Please???

5.) Locking your bike to a stranger’s:

You’re actual trash if you do this and honestly this might already be illegal. Just go find another parking space, it’s really not that hard. Imagine if you lock your bike to a poor soul who needs to get to their Week 9 midterm, which they’re already late to because it’s Week 9 and life is hard.

4.) Pedestrian rights:
Coming onto this campus for the first time and innocently walking through a crosswalk, thinking the bikes will stop for you is absolutely terrifying. We might as well make pedestrian rights illegal over bike rights just so the poor freshmen next year will know not to cause mayhem by casually walking into the roads. Strangely enough, taking pedestrian rights away and giving bikes the right of way might cause less accidents.

3.) Buildings with no air conditioning in the summer:
For those poor souls taking summer courses, halls with no air conditioning might be categorized as cruel and unusual punishment. People are already giving up their summers to learn more; they shouldn’t have to be tortured with Davis’ disgusting summer heat too.

2.) 8 a.m. classes:

Davis just shouldn’t offer 8 a.m.s. Period. The scariest part of making a new schedule isn’t really the crippling fear that you won’t get the class you need to graduate on time; it’s that you’ll be stuck with 8 a.m. classes. Let’s be real, having no 8 a.m.s will improve class attendance anyway.

1.) Late Night without cookies:

For those of you thinking this could never happen, you’re wrong. Your whole world is shook when enter the D.C. for late night and all you really want is the comfort of those ooey-gooey cookies, but then for whatever monstrous reason, they’re gone! The pain students feel from this disappointment is enough to make it a capital offense.

College is hard enough, so if these small, reasonable requests can be placed into action just to make things easier, they absolutely should be. You know what we want, Davis. The ball’s in your court now.

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