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The 8 Daily Occurrences that Make Unitrans the Worst

 

For rainy days or for those of us who are just feeling too lazy to bike into campus in even the nicest weather, Unitrans is often our last resort. Too bad it sucks. Sometimes we’d rather walk 40 minutes in the rain than take the bus. Here’s why:

8.) It’s Always Late:
It’s 8:45 a.m., and your line was supposed to come at 8:30 a.m. You and 40 other people are refreshing the Unitrans website every 45 seconds. It says the bus is coming in two minutes, but it’s been saying that for the last 15. When the bus finally does come, it’s not even the line you were planning to take. It’ll take an extra five minutes to get to campus, but your usual line might as well have been sucked into a black hole. Good luck with that 9 a.m. midterm!

7.) Getting Stuck Behind a Train:
For the lucky people who live east of the train tracks, there’s always the chance the longest cargo train you have ever seen will decide to pass by right in front of your bus, delaying your journey at least another 20 excruciatingly long minutes.

6.) The Crowds:
On the first buses to head in and the last to head out, the bus is always filled to the brim. As dozens of people pour into the bus, the humidity level rises and the air seems to thin. If you’re lucky enough to get a seat, it’s chill. But who is ever that lucky? Most likely you’ll have to negotiate standing space with 100 other people, as you try to make yourself as small as possible to avoid awkwardly brushing elbows with strangers. This is a wasted effort. You will touch a stranger. The only good thing about the crowds on Unitrans is that people are packed so tight that they won’t fall down when the driver slams the breaks.

Unitrans offers us this suggestion for the A Line, but we will never take it because we can’t not leave our apartments at the last possible moment:

Peep that “100+” passengers on the A Line. There are only 40 seats!

5.) Weekend Service:
The weekend service is actually pretty dope. It’s so great we wish there was more of it!! Really though: The O Line coming every hour and fifteen minutes is not cutting it.

4.) The Tiny Shelters:

In theory, these shelters are extremely useful in keeping us all dry during one of California’s wettest winters. And they are useful. For about eight people. Everyone else is getting soaked.

3.) Bus Stops that Don’t Even Have Shelters:
Some stops don’t even have shelters. We are drowning out here, Unitrans. DROWNING! 

2.) Whatever This Is:

So, this is probably just lint built up from the pants of the hundreds of people who’ve sat here, right? We’ll never know that for sure, and that makes us uneasy. The same goes for the stains. Did someone spill coffee, or did someone die in that seat? The fear of the unknown is sending chills down our spines.

1. ) The Smell:
These buses are not very well ventilated. If someone farts, it’s all over. And it will continue to be over for the next two hours. Last year, the Z-line straight up smelled like sewage for an entire month, followed by another month of smelling like bleach.

This is not cute, Unitrans. You need to get yourself together. We’re still going to ride Unitrans because it’s free though.

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