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Don’t Call Yourself a Davis Student Until You’ve Done These 7 Things Before Commencement

It’s hard to decide if you really fit in or not, but at UC Davis there are a few things that make it pretty easy to fit into the cow-crowd. If you haven’t done every single thing on this list, you may want to rethink your college choice. And if you’re about to graduate, whoa Nelly, maybe it’s time to rethink a lot of things. 

7.) Buy your own hammock and set it up somewhere extremely unpractical:
Are you really a Davis student if you don’t travel all the way to Target or a Big 5, buy a hammock (with too much confidence), and set it up underneath a lofted bed or anywhere else entirely inconvenient? No, you are not. So go do this before they revoke your diploma.

6.) Walk the whole arboretum for the ‘Gram:
Have you really been to the Arb if there isn’t a picture on Instagram to prove it? To continue to show our pride for our school, Davis students everywhere post strange selfies throughout the Arboretum to show just how gorgeous it and they are. Do it for the ‘Gram, or don’t call yourself an Aggie.

5.) Attend every single football game:
Our team may not be the best, our team may not even be that good, BUT IT’S FOOTBALL! If you don’t show up to every game with a smile on your face and ready to do the signature Aggie song, then we don’t know where you’re from but it sure isn’t here. Because here we have Aggie spirit literally bursting out of our pores. It’s, uh… actually pretty gross. 

4.) Know at least two different versions of the Eggheads story:
The Eggheads, being the united art piece that is spread across our campus, has been the subject of many scavenger hunts and an object of great interest. But ask any Aggie where they came from and they will have at least two, completely different stories. It’s not that hard to just research what really happened, but that would require time away from attempting to force some hammocks up between them, wouldn’t it? 

3.) Lie to underclassmen or prospective students about the smell of cow shit:
We all know it’s awful, we all talk about how awful it is, and we all hate it. But you wouldn’t be bursting with enough Aggie pride unless you look at a new student on tour of the school asking you what that horrid smell is that just overwhelms your senses, smile as you fight back tears and tell them that they’ll get used to it and that it’s really not that bad. Sometimes you may even throw in the “I don’t even notice anymore,” line just to really sell it.

2.) Skip lecture because the rain was just too much to handle:
Ask anyone at Davis how awful it is to bike in the rain. It’s cold, it’s windy, your clothes get wet, and somehow even though you’re only going like two miles an hour, the water droplets feel like BBs. If you can’t relate, there is no way you could ever be considered a Davis student.

1.) Lastly, and most importantly, get a tattoo of a cow on yo’ ass:
Now we all know ourselves as the Aggies, short for agriculture…als, and our mascot is a mustang (which will never make any sense). Still, the one thing that bonds all of us together is our love for the cows. They’re just so cute and innocent. And the only real way to properly express that love is by getting a permanent drawing of a cartoon cow somewhere on your ass to reflect the real Aggie pride when you streak accross the stage at graduation. Everyone does it. 

Now that you know, think about whether or not you have done every last thing on this list, and whether or not you are a real Davis student.

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