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7 (Real) Drunken Reviews of UC Davis Campus Resources

While UCD tries really hard to let students know about the various resources on campus, no one really knows how students feel about these resources. To get to the bottom of this, The Black Sheep conducted a series of interviews at a “poppin’” party last Friday and compiled the seven best drunken reviews of UC Davis resources that we found:

7.) ICC:
“They have lots of stuffs. Without a doubt…the most stuffs…maybe even the most stuffs! I think. But seriously like has anybody ever gone to there? I know they exist and I know they have much stuffs but does you know anyone who has been there? Because I don’t.” – sophomore physics major, Oliver D.

6.) SASC:
“Dude, I went there once with like a paper for like this really…ummm…this really hard class and…ummm… they helped me. But not like a lot, but like just enough. You should go there if you ever have papers.” – senior biology major, Jenna W.

5.) ARC:
“When it’s not being bulldozed it’s cool. They have run machines and metal and showers and even coffee. Also, it’s so close to my home. But I don’t like to see it when I am going to my home because then I feel bad about my body.” – freshman environmental science major, Michelle S.

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4.) Mind Spa:
“What do they even do there? Give you massages for your brain?” – junior English major, Peter K.

3.) Women’s Resource Center:
“The what?” – senior applied mathematics major, Stephanie M.

2.) Major advisors:
“Those are the guys that make you go see them like every year, right? Yeah, those guys are hella chill. They told me what classes to take and like are helping me graduate on time. They even showed me internships and stuff. Yeah bruh, those guys are hella tight. Ten out of ten.” – junior international relations major, Brendan L.

1.) The Food Bank:
“OOOOOHHHH FUUUUUCK. I love that place man. Did you know…did you…did you know that they literally just like give you free food? Did you know that? It is so cool. If you are ever near the MU and you’re like damn I’m hungry as fuck but I’m broke as shit, then like totally go there! I love them. I want to marry them.” – senior managerial economics major, Adam P.

With these interviews straight from students at their most honest state, now you can all know how they really feel about UCD resources. Hopefully this helps you decide where you go for help on campus. Or not because they’re just a bunch of drunk idiots anyway!


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