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6 People We Desperately Try to Avoid on the Quad

We all know that the people on the Quad are not the best of the best that UCD has to offer. And somehow all of the people that you hate the most seem to gather in the perfect spot that you just cannot avoid. Some of the people you see cause a physical fight or flight reaction while others leave you with long lasting emotional trauma. Either way, these are the 6 worst people you’ll want to avoid while roaming the Quad.

6.) CALPIRG people:
We all know them, those people that just hang around waiting for you to pause ever so slightly so that they can jump in and ask you to care about whatever cause they are fighting for that day. Not that these causes aren’t important, they probably are, but that doesn’t mean you should have to take precious time out of your busy-ass day so that you can listen to them bombard you with questions that you can’t seem to get away from because you were raised with basic human decency that doesn’t allow you to walk away from someone talking at you.

5.) Creepy religious people (unless they have a dog):
There’s nothing worse than just trying to enjoy a meal in piece or study for a class when absolute nut-jobs are screaming about how sinful you are. Now not all the religious freaks out there are the same. Some stand uncomfortably in suits, watching you from afar, shouting about God, filling you with a weird mix of anxiety and anger. While one kind old man stands proud, reading from the bible with a cute little dog sitting by his side. Even though the dog doesn’t come around anymore, how can you not love him?

4.) Your ex and their new SO:
Now we all know that weird phenomenon that happens when you break up with someone where all of a sudden they are just everywhere in your life and you cannot escape them. But somehow they always end up on the quad of all places. You’re just minding your own business and BOOM there they are with their new SO, totally in love reminding you how alone you are and how not alone they are.

3.) Tree people:
Not like the people who work for TreePeople though, like those weirdos who literally hide in trees and scare the living shit out of you. When you make eye-contact it’s the literal worst because you know they see you, and you know they know you see them, but neither of you want to actually acknowledge how fucking strange the whole interaction is. If you haven’t seen them, just wait, you will.

2.) Hammock thieves:
They just sit and wait until someone innocent and lovely, like yourself, tries to get a hammock and then they pounce. They are conveniently two steps closer to the hammock than you are so you know they get it fair and square but you have been sitting there for like an hour waiting for an open one and you know they only wanted it now because you were about to have it. To be honest, they probably just loving toying with people’s emotions and watching them fill with disappointment.

1.) Your professors:
It’s not that you hate them, or even that they intimidate you. But it’s so dreadful to try to imagine having to make small talk if, by some cruel curse of God, they recognize you. Just remember that professors are like dinosaurs and if you stand perfectly still, they won’t see you.

At least we can all agree that this lawn has to be cursed or something to explain all the awfulness that is constantly spewing from it.


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