In the recent audit of the UC System, it came out that there was a chunk of funding that was unaccounted for. A BIG chunk – $75 million to be exact. The Black Sheep figured it has to be around here somewhere, so we’ll help everyone out and try to find it. Could it be…
7.) In our newly renovated silo?:
Under construction for almost a year, the new Silo was finally revealed in all its glory. The most amazing addition is the food truck row, which honestly is just a glorified freshly-paved cement path. Thus, this would be the perfect hiding spot for our missing funds. No one would would even think about tearing it up to look, because who would really be able to bare it being under construction again?
6.) In our newly renovated MU?:
In this new, wonderful, misplaced airport lobby there are tons of places to potentially hide UC Davis’s audit funds. It could be under the Lego shaped seats in the new study spaces. Or maybe stashed in one of the ball returns in the new bowling alley. Possibly hidden among the many foods in the new marketplace. It could even be hiding under one of the many pool tables! The world may never know, because no one who’s not 45 and living in Ohio cares about bowling.
5.) At the Tercero dorms construction site?:
In the wonderful campus that is Davis, students would be worried if there wasn’t some sort of construction happening year round. So maybe the folks took advantage of this and hid the money somewhere in the vast space of cement, dirt, drills, and paint that might one day be a new section of freshman dorms.
4.) In ex-Chancellor Katehi’s giant purse?:
Just look at her face, would anyone really be surprised if this is where it turned up? The classic hiding-75-million-dollars-in-plain-site trick.
3.) Anywhere in the Death Star?:
Once you enter the Death Star, there’s no way out. It’s a maze of advisors’, professors’ and TAs’ offices that no one can maneuver. So why would it be any different for our missing funds? If it is in there though, we bet you someone just dropped it and it is now lost forever in the all consuming abyss that is the Social Sciences and Humanities building.
2.) Or simply buried somewhere in our 60 acre farm?:
Now this would be the most genius spot to bury any treasure, because who knows what’s even planted over there. In a 60 acre field where the only people who ever enter it are the students and faculty of the College of Ag, no one would ever be the wiser.
1.) In Putah Creek?:
That one really long creek that runs through the arboretum just looks suspicious. Last year they claimed they were trying to get a handle on the algae problem, but we all know they were just searching for the perfect spot to drop their cash. Let’s just hope they were smart enough to put it in a waterproof case.
Now it’s your turn to go searching, and if you find any of the unaccounted funds let an authority know, because we’re sure that the UC System would be happy to get it back.
Listen to our podcast while you look for the money!