One of the best things about being charged 20k a year is that we get free movies! Occasionally UCR holds free movie premiers; some in our opinion are good and then there those which are completely amazing. There are certain type of people who are at every single movie premier, maybe you can relate?
10.) The Early Bird:
The Early bird is the person who you see right at the beginning of the line. If the poster says that they’ll dispense tickets at 3 p.m., they’ll get there at 8 a.m. like no big deal. Like they took the chairs and a table from the patio of the hub and are just recreating their desk from home. They might as well pitch up a tent and make a second home for themselves.
The Squatter is a person who couldn’t give a rats ass about the movie. They’re just holding a spot for a friend who has class.
8.) The Cutter:
This is the second half of the squatter. This person really wants to see the movie, but not enough to ditch class. So they send a friend who probably has better things to do to take their place.
7.) The Scalper:
The Scalper is the type of person who will go out and get the tickets, and sell them half priced. So if a movie ticket costs about 10 dollars, he will sell it for 5. GENIUS!
6.) Super Fan:
The Super fan has been waiting to watch this movie forever. They’re wearing merchandise that’s been sold at Hot Topic to show the silver screen how much they love that movie. When you walk past them, you can hear them quoting lines from the trailer. They’re even playing the trailer from their phone whose speakers are already blown out.
5.) The Squad:
These are the loudest people in the line, but you envy them because time is flying faster with friends than by yourself. Their cackles and giggles fill every ear in a five-mile radius. It also feels like every five seconds the squad gets bigger and bigger with every passing minute…
4.) The Mute:
This is the dude who just has headphones in and sits in the line causing no ruckus. Even if you’re behind them and sneeze, you are not getting a bless you from them. You swear there was just a ghost in front of you.
3.) The Social Butterfly:
The Social Butterfly wants to be friends with everyone in the line. You have no idea if they have an ulterior motive but damn it they’re nice. They talk to everyone around them making their wait in the line that more fun. They’re the one that makes you want to be their best friend. One second you’re staring at the back of the head of the person in front of you, the next second you’re exchanging Snapchats.
2.) The “Student”:
The “Student” makes you want to risk sneaking your friends outside of UCR and get them a ticket. The “Student” goes to the high school down the street and just trying to score a ticket to 50 Shades Darker. You feel bad for the kid when they try and lie about not having their R’ Card and that walk of shame out of the HUB.
1.) The ASPB Staff:
“Remember to have your ticket and R’ Card out.” This phrase will be the end of you. The next 10 minutes it’ll be the only thing you hear. Their all black hoodies will surround you and next thing you know you’ll be repeating them like it is a cult initiation phrase. They don’t come out until 5 minutes before the ticket distribution. Half of them look just as tired as you.
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