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F*** It! We Ranked the 7 Best Highlander Organizations

You’re lonely, otherwise you wouldn’t be finished with Parks & Rec on your fifth cycle of the entire series. There’s a social scene at UCR once you look hard enough and walk outside on Wednesday afternoons where tens of tables advertising different social clubs at UCR are. So we decided to say fuck it and rank ’em all with no clear purpose at all. 

7.) Highlander Gloves:
Sorry lovers, only fighters allowed. Highlander Gloves is the on-campus club that meets at the local boxing joint to become the easy foray to training for novice boxers. Students boiling with anxiety and frustration over things like tuition, midterms, group projects, or toilet seat-staining roommates can find solace in this atmosphere that encourages outward expression of rage. Imagine that punching bag is the TA who marked you down for a poor thesis statement and go full Rocky 4 on it. 

6.) Cube^3: 
A club dedicated to solving puzzles, this group of students will have the answer behind your ever-evolving question, “How’d I end up on Academic Probation?” Ranging from Rubik’s cubes to word puzzles, this gang of Sherlocks will twist, turn, and decode every lock handed. It’s also a good group to be associated with in case someone kidnaps you and puts you in a Saw situation. 

5.) The Navigators 
Some of y’all could really use Jesus. 

4.) Casual Hiking Club: 
For all you outdoors-types that actually enjoy the dusty dunes of Riverside County, no other club is really as zen as this one. Going outside and getting in touch with nature is essential training to any sociology or anthropology major. Join a group of fellow hikers that find themselves surrounded by gaggles of mountain and desert. Anyone who wants to soul-search is stuck with these terrains since we’re not engrossed with greenery and water like UC Santa Cruz. Maybe take some surveys while you’re out there to finally be able to put some down for “Experience/Research” on your resumes.  

3.) Highlander Rugby Club: 
‘Ello mates! To be forward, The Black Sheep at UCR doesn’t know diddly-shit about rugby. However, if your dating life isn’t finding footing online, maybe give these cheeky mates a shot. For a sport that demands high-intensity training and physiques that are the antithesis of yours, finding no shame in binging on grilled cheeses and Pabst Blue Ribbon, it doesn’t hurt to surround yourself with UCR’s most beautiful students. Maybe along the way you’ll lose that weight put on from being planted at Orbach, watching Ozark for hours and deeming it a “study sesh.”  Or not because *enter body positivity here.*

2.) Space Club: 
This may be the most important club of them all. Without going into a rant about the human race being relocated to a neighboring planet once Elon Musk desires, The Black Sheep’s investigation of the solar eclipse event that took place over summer sparked a series of concern and questions towards how educated the Highlander student body is over what hangs beyond the stratosphere. This club of space enthusiasts not only surrounds you will people who know their shit and are likely one of the seemingly-15 physics students at UCR, their infectious gushing over quasars and Saturn’s rings will make you want to explore this subject above and beyond the stars. 

1.) Anime Club: 
DATTEBAYOOOOOOO! The Anime Club easily gets the biggest pull on a campus that loves Naruto Shippuden and hentai. It becomes a safe space for every student that wishes they could parade around the HUB in full Inuyasha garb. You don’t have to be a Senpai to join, just any Highlander with an active R’Card and student account. 

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