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The Ultimate Square’s Guide to UC-Riverside Block Party 2017

UC Riverside deserves maaad brownie points for giving Highlanders a full-blown concert after only TWO DAYS of instruction! School rules! If that is not gifting a 9-year-old an iPad for dressing themselves for a week, nothing else could come close to the “all play, no work” notion. After a rich lineup of notable artists dropped for Block Party 2017, it’s an omission not to get excited.

That is, unless you’ve never heard of A$AP Ferg, Playboy Carti, or A R I Z O N A, the headliners for Block Party 2017. If those sound like fictional characters and you’re struggling to cram all of their music into your Spotify playlists with the clock ticking, let The Black Sheep guide your mind, your body, and your soul for what could become the best Block Party since Kendrick:

A$AP Ferg:
Few rappers slap harder than Ferg. While that could flux into a tasteless Chris Brown joke, Ferg truly brings bops slathered in beats thicker than peanut butter. Classified as a “titan of trap,” Ferg’s slightly-more comprehensible mumble rap is taking the Atlantic lean scene and sticking a pinky out. If you’ve been fortunate enough to attend a UCR house party, drinking Rolling Rock and chatting about the unit cap, chances are you’ve foolishly dabbed the hell out of Ferg’s “Plain Jane.” Don’t skip out on this cat: he’s beyond the local Soundcloud rapper you may assume of him. Baybaeeeee!

A R I Z O N A:
The obligatory pop band in the lineup, A R I Z O N A will serve as a solid change of pace to the other major acts with a dance-pop sound that doesn’t fall too far into “music festival pop.” Think of an underground Kygo, or the deep, synthy sounds you make when you sleep (think about it). The addition came at a bit of a surprise considering their commercial album GALLERY does incorporate a heavy mix of slightly sad tune. Yet, this turn-up aura quickly followed by a session of sadness is the ultimate duality of UCR and in that light, gives credit to ASUCR’s inclusion of A R I Z O N A for this weekend’s concert.

Playboi Carti:
“PLAY MAGNOLIA!!!…PLAY IT AGAIN!” The Maester of Milly Rock, Playboi Carti is the trendiest act of the Big Three courtesy of his recent hit “Magnolia,” and while his self-titled commercial mixtape proves to stretch beyond a one-hit wonder, UCR will truthfully confess that once “Magnolia” comes on, the school will blast-off. Seriously: if you don’t want to be part of the Playboi Orbiter that will launch from UCR once he hits the stage, it’s recommended you leave campus. Give yourself a full two feet of space between your neighboring Highlanders because palms flying in the sync of Milly Rock will go haywire.

Ultimately, none of this will matter if you forget a valid R’CARD or graduated in four years like a nerd. Nerd! Dress somewhere between “Sunday-best” and “Attention-starved EDM sojourner,” or wear a hot dog/wiener suit for ultimate high-fives. Don’t forget to properly hydrate and take your drugs at a reasonable pace because, as harsh as it may seem, bystanders do remember the faces plopped along the sidewalks concrete that couldn’t hang beyond the Amy S. Harrison field.

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