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Top 6 Places to Have Sex at UCR

Candle light, alcohol, or roommates are all reasons UCR students would need to find somewhere creative to do the deed. The Black Sheep has taken it upon themselves to find the best places on campus to not get caught, and now we are passing it along. And yes, we have tested these locations.

6.) “Narnia”:

“Narnia” has multiple definitions, depending on who is asked. However, if you ask the intelligent people, they will tell you it is a small grove in between the A and B sides of Lothian. If you go down far enough, it is concealed by trees. You might want to be cautious about getting your “valuables” close to leafs or plants, especially ones you don’t know. We would recommend bringing down a quick guide book about plants, just to be safe before you touch anything. Also, fair warning, “Narnia” is known as a spot to go smoke weed without getting caught. But they say high sex is the best sex, so if people do come down and spot you, things could get interesting.

5.) The hot tub at the SRC:

This might require some elaborate hand work, seating arrangements, and the jets to be turned on, especially if it’s during the day or if others are in the hot tub. This idea is not meant for rookies. It just takes one person to ruin it for everyone.

4.) Roof of MSE:

If you go during the day, you can bang and get a tan at the same time! If you go at night, while you bang you may hear faint ghost noises to add a spooky effect to your special night. These are the ghosts of people who died from the stress of their midterms and finals in that very building. Because who doesn’t want to be scared while someone’s going down on them? Also, the roof of MSE is another location people occasionally visit to smoke in peace. But the more the merrier, right?

3.) Study rooms at Rivera Library:

This one only works at Rivera, since it is much emptier than Orbach because it’s haunted. It only gets more abandoned the higher up you go. You could always formally request a study room, but where’s the fun in that? Everyone knows it’s much more exciting when there’s a chance someone might walk in, whether it be another student, a librarian, a ghost, or Scotty the Bear.

2.) Back corners of Lot 30:

As long as you don’t have your lights on or make any indication that you are backing out, no one will care what you’re doing in Lot 30. You might want to make this one a quickie though, so someone can have your spot when you’re done.

1.) The “C”:

Your R.A. might tell you it is a rite of passage to climb the C as a UCR student. If they tell you this, it is only partially the truth. The real way to be initiated into UCR is to not only climb up to the C, but to have sex there afterwards. Some freshmen are known to make a competition out of it. First person to have sex on the C wins! Not only do you get to be initiated as a UCR student, you get to know your hall mates and possibly make friends. You also get to have sex, which isn’t bad most of the time.

Good luck Highlanders! If you have found better places than what’s on this list, pass on your knowledge! We’re all in this together.


Like booze before noon? So do these guys…


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