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UCR Majors Renamed To Fit What They Actually Are

Known for being such a diverse university, it is of no surprise that with that title there’s also a vast variety of majors offered here at the University of Riverside, California. It’s hard to see or notice what goes on in these majors, but with some observation and a lot of anonymous tips, your friendly UCR team here at The Black Sheep was able to get the scoop on just what goes on in some of these departments. Don’t let the names of these majors fool you, so to get some insight into what life is like for these majors, here is a small list of renamed majors that better fit these areas of study.

Biology – Maybe I Should Switch Majors?

If you’re aiming for medical school, then you’re more likely to major in biology, but once they tell you the very first day that over fifty percent don’t even make it that far, you’ll feel your body tense with the need to run out screaming.

Business Administration – Trust Me, You’ll All Be Working for Me One Day

Everybody wants to make a lot of money, right? Well guess what? It’s hard.

Computer Science – I’m Majoring Therefore I Know It All

“I can totally fix your laptop.”

Creative Writing – My Writing is Shit

An entire field of study where you learn you can’t write shit and still move on to a new set of higher expectations. Don’t expect to be the next J.K. Rowling by the time you graduate.

English – Hating Having to Read and Write

You may get stricken with luck in having an amazing professor, but odds are you will dread the reading and writing for the next four years.

History – Bringing Up the Past

Not much of a difference from high school, you hit the books hard, oh, and you’ll get the occasional smartass that thinks they know history better than the professor and nine times out of ten they end up proving they know diddly-squat.

Engineering – Where Them Girls At?

With only about 20% of engineering students being female, it’s of no surprise that UCR’s Department of Engineering is no exception to the noticeably small number of female students majoring in engineering. To paint the bigger picture, every class is a sausage fest.

Media and Cultural Studies – Hmm, Let’s Watch This Film and “Analyze”

“So, the director chose those blue curtains over the windows during that three second clip to signify their deep emotional pain? Fascinating.”

Political Science – I’ll Become the Best Politician

“Your opinion is wrong.”

Undeclared – Deciding on My Future, eh?

“I don’t know.”

Overall, don’t forget the fact that CNASS and CHASS seem to have an unnamed war going on between them over which degree really is useful in the art of job hunting:

CNAS – Let’s Talk Shit About the CHASS Majors

For being such an impacted set of majors, you’d think these people would be more worried about their own choice of study instead of other people’s, but for some reason there is a constant need to look down on the humanities majors. With CHASS majors being quick to defend their entire life decisions, it’s safe to say they’ve also been able to play the victim.

CHASS – Let’s Constantly Defend Our Choice of Major

Apparently, people who majors in humanities didn’t provide us with an education for the past twelve years because it’s considered a worthless degree that will have no job opportunities for you past graduation, so there will always be the need to defend yourself and your decisions.  You will also tend to whine and complain about a workload that is often not even that much of a workload to begin with.

Drunk people say the darndest things:


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