University of California, Riverside — The Black Sheep UCR stands with the University of California at Santa Barbara’s decision to postpone finals until 2018 because of the hellscape that is California at this moment in time. We call on UCR to postpone any upcoming finals.
While we realize this may upset a handful of freshmen who claim to be “prepared” for finals and have “been up all week stressing” about their Mastering Your Twitter Bio 1009 exam, The Black Sheep UCR is committed to continued procrastination and Christmas coming early this holiday season.
The Thomas, Skirball, Lilac, Wilson, Creek and Rye fires have caused massive damage across Southern California, and while The Black Sheep UCR sympathizes with those who’ve lost their possessions to the fire, we also sympathize with students who are not even fucking close to being prepared for the real world, much less finals.
UCR administration—your students are crammed in libraries, writing in 1 point font on a tiny note card they can use for their finals and downing Red Bulls at an alarming rate, and there’s a series of fires coming at us from all angles. What more do you need to cancel classes? Do you need the plot of San Andreas to happen? The Day After Tomorrow? Battle Los Angeles? Honestly, if we’re forced to sit through those shitty movies to find out what happens at the end, you’ll have wasted all of our time that we might as well just call it a day now.
Actually, while we’re out here asking for finals to be postponed until 2018, let’s just call it 2020, OK? With the way things are going, we’ll probably see another four years of a Trump presidency and half this country will be in flames, anyway.
So, UCR, just keep pushing ’em back until we can just forget about school for a good long while. We’re all a bit exhausted at this point and could use a some goddamn fresh air.
Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to our podcast with Twitter’s @Rad_Milk!