UCSB: home to world class educators, beautiful beaches, and a party scene unlike any other. However, there is one universal desire that is seemingly beyond the reach of your average Gaucho. That’s right, a selfie with our Lord and Savior, Chancellor Henry T. Yang. A man of utmost secrecy, Yang is an expert in avoiding prospective selfie-takers. Many Gauchos have tried, and many Gauchos have failed. So, The Black Sheep sent our best reconnaissance agents out into the field, and they brought us back these ways to snap a selfie with the elusive Chancellor Yang.
6.) Stumble across him randomly:
This method is highly reliant on luck, and much less on skill. Yang takes walks around campus frequently, so you may be lucky enough to just stumble upon him. Just happening upon Yang is akin to winning the lottery, so we recommend using some of the other techniques on this list.
5.) Use Photoshop:
If you are good at photoshop yourself, then it should be fairly easy. If you are not, then pay a nerd on your floor a couple bucks or reward him with some *good Christian* favors to just do it for you. Though this method is probably the fastest, it is very controversial. You risk a social media sleuth seeing a photoshop job and calling you out, thus ruining your Yang selfie credibility indefinitely. That’s a risk you may not be willing to take.
4.) Know the spots that he frequents:
The most common spots for Yang sightings are at sporting events, dispensaries, local bars, and just about anywhere else you can turn up, so if you’re really dedicated, camp out there. However, many Yang fans, or Yangers, spend hours around these spots and are never rewarded with that sweet social media gold. If you are vigilant enough, you just might get lucky.
3.) Follow him around:
When trying to get a picture with Yang, it is important to know what move he will make before he makes it. The Chancellor is a busy man, so he will likely be talking to others or on the phone when you see him. However, if you know his daily routine, then you will know where he will be the next day, and hopefully he will be alone and prime for the taking. Selfie taking, that is.
2.) Drop by his office:
Yang loves a good prank, and will probably assume that you sitting naked in his chair when he gets back to the office was just that. Be warned, his secretaries WILL try to keep you out. They aren’t as light-hearted as Papa Yang. The simple way around this slight obstacle is to just army crawl past their desks into his office.
1.) Drop by his house:
If all else fails, this is the end-all be-all tactic of getting a picture with Yang. You already tried tactic number three, so you will definitely already know where he lives. Mrs. Yang doesn’t possess the superpowers that Daddy does, so it will be fairly easy to hide from her until he gets back. Under the bed, in a closet, or behind any old drapes should do the trick. When Yang gets back from work, pop out and ask him to snap that selfie.
There you have it, the best ways to snap a selfie with Chancellor Yang. Some people may call some of our tactics “creepy” or “stalking” but believe us, they work! Besides, Dad has a great sense of humor and will most likely appreciate them. So get out there Gauchos, and happy Yang hunting!
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