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8 Deltopia Cops Who Clearly Wish They Were Shloshed


Deltopia has come and gone. Hordes of out-of-towners came into our homes, threw up, and left. In an effort to prevent the type of chaos that has marked Deltopia in past years, a large number of extra police officers were brought to IV. To a student doing Deltopia things, the additional police presence was clearly noticeable. Sadly, the officers generally appeared to be having a significantly worse time than the students. As they stood there on the sidewalk, arms crossed and glaring at the crowd, one could only wonder what they were really thinking. However, The Black Sheep has a hunch about what they were thinking and would like to present some evidence. The following pictures depict police officers at Deltopia who obviously wish they were hammered.


8.) Old Best Bros:




These two bros have been a team for as long as they can remember, but they were pissed at each other all Deltopia because they both insisted it had been the others’ turn to supply the booze and neither brought any. The day did damage to their friendship, but nothing time won’t heal. The Black Sheep wishes them the best.


7.) Rollin’ Deep:




This squad was rolling way, way deep all day on Deltopia. Using body posture and facial expression analytics, it is easy to tell that they all wished they had pre-gamed the foot patrol sesh. The only one smiling clearly has a Gatorade mixie in his hand. What. A. Dog.


6.) The Horesmen:




These horsemen of the apocalypse couldn’t stop thinking about how dank it would’ve been to get a day buzz on while cruising DP on their majestic steeds. The horses were clearly one step ahead of their officer masters, and can be seen here showing off their 21+ wristbands without shame.



5.) Boozeless Shame: 




These cops were in downright disbelief that no one brought the brews. All they could do was shake their heads in disappointment and hope for better luck next time. Can’t win ‘em all, fellas.



4.) ~TwInZieS~:




These twin officers knew they fucked up. While the boy on the ground was clearly having the time of his life, the officers were stuck telepathically discussing their regretful sobriety and how they could still manage to get white girl wasted.



3.) Sad and Alone 🙁 : 




Officer “Arson” could kill you in more ways than he could count. Fortunately, he was too bummed out to do so this past weekend by the thought of the six pack sitting in his fridge at home.



2.) Feeling Left Out:




Surrounded by all of the coolest kids in California, these poor sweaty guys sulked around all day wishing they were rip-roarin’ drunk like everyone else.



1.) Hosed Down in Fireball: 




“I’d pay 200 bucks to be hosed down with fireball right now.” This guy’s face said it all.


Saturday was a true tragedy for many an overheated policeman wishing to get Bombay blasted in Isla Vista. Their disappointment was a sad display to say the least, and represented a real failure on an otherwise successful day. Hopefully the cops will learn from their mistakes and remember not to leave their flasks in their squad cars next year.


P.S.- A cash prize will be awarded to any individual who can obtain proof regarding whether or not policemen have eyes behind those standard issue shades.


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