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10 Things Found in DP Frat Houses That Prove They’re Aliens

Frat houses are dirty, sticky, and weird. Those boys KNOW they are going to be having people over, yet they don’t clean anything at all. Going into some of the more disgusting frat houses, it is clear to see that something is a little off and that they are obviously not human. Here are things that have actually been seen in DP frat houses that provide the evidence:

10.) A bowl of cat/dog food:
There is neither a cat or dog in sight and somehow there is a bowl of its food on the bathroom counter, clearly visible, yet in a place where no cat or dog could reach it. Do they not know how to feed pets? Are there no pets in space?

9.) A magazine hardened with lord-knows-what liquid:
Especially unusual considering nobody ever sees frat boys reading magazines, yet there is one in every house. Adding to the weird factor, you can never find a readable magazine, they’re always either crusted with “liquid” or their pages are stuck together with something. What did they use magazines for on their planet, workout towels?

8.) A box of dryer sheets:
Okay, humans have dryer sheets too, but for some reason, frat boys always have a whole box lying out. It’s almost as if they think it is meant to be an air freshener??? It seems logical that aliens would not know how to use dryer sheets, so if frat boys don’t, that’s a little suspicious, right?

7.) A William Hung CD:
This was FOR REAL in a frat house in real life. Whether or not the CD was there as a joke or aliens just really like bad music, this at least proves that frat boys have an alternate sense of hearing. Also, they have to be aliens if they still use CDs. Got ‘em.

6.) A life vest in the bathtub:
Just as explained in Lilo & Stitch, aliens have a density too high to survive in water, so if frat boys were aliens, they would need life vests to take baths. Just something to think about.

5.) No toilet paper or soap:
Do aliens not know how restrooms work? Do they even need to use the restroom? Can they even eat food? Can they only drink vodka? All of these are questions raised by their lack of bathroom essentials.

4.) Unusually sticky floors:
Okay, this isn’t exactly a thing, but it seems to be in every frat house even after they have just been cleaned. It is truly awe-inspiring how they manage to keep up the stickiness of their floors.

3.) Penguin costume:
Does this need explanation? Regular humans don’t own penguin costumes.

2.) Absolutely nothing:
Frat boys (and aliens alike) need almost nothing in order to survive, especially not adornments or decorations. It seems like every wall in their houses are white and empty. Aliens are known for not understanding human traditions, so it would make sense that aliens have bare walls.

1.) Wrapping paper… as wallpaper:
It has been assumed that this happened because the aliens were given gifts and didn’t know what to do with the paper, so they assumed (wrongly) that it was for wallpaper. At least their wall wasn’t bare anymore.

These are all things that have been found at UCSB frat houses. It is up to you to decide whether or not this proves they are aliens, but the evidence is pretty overwhelming.

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