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How To Throw a Successful End of Year Orgy on DP

Although Isla Vista has plenty of places to be and girls to do every Friday, after a while, the nights may blend together and feel repetitive. Gang up with the friends, pregame, find a party, hit on the girl who looks like she updates Instagram (but get stuck with the girl who only browses the front page of Imgur), yack in a public park and end up sleeping anywhere other than your bed. Same old, same old. With that in mind, here are the key ingredients to an award-winning Del Playa orgy that will have all of IV jealous of your innovation.

4.) Clear the room of sharp objects and furniture for safety and functionality reasons:
Do leave a few things that could be used as toys for some of your more creative guests. Here are some suggested items that you may find anywhere from your kitchen to your local Mom and Pop sex shop: whips, spatulas, socks, butt plugs, lube, spaghetti, throat lozenges (lasagnas), a hammer, butter knives, handcuffs, syringes, strap-ons and condoms.

3.) Smart snacking:
No snacks should not be provided unless intended for play, as they are just going to make a mess that someone’s bare ass will get stuck in. Besides, at an orgy, there are more interesting things to be doing, which is to say the food will only be eaten if it is indeed on an ass. However, if snacks do happen to be a necessity, maybe because you’re inviting your fat friend who says she needs to eat every hour or she’ll pass out, keep it to only strawberries and whipped cream.

2.) Make a killer Facebook invite: 
This is important because word of mouth is highly inefficient and out of style due to Gauchos’ goldfish-like memories during week 9. The name must be clever (or at least rhyme) if you’re of lower intelligence. Be sure to use an enticing photo, preferably of your most attractive friends. If you do not have attractive friends at your disposal, find a stock photo of attractive people. Do not use models. Everyone hates false advertising.

1.) Answer the door in your birthday suit: 
People will be attending the party assuming the Facebook invite was a silly joke, but when they get a glimpse of your Chancellor Yang-approved beaver basher/danger clam, the guests will know that an immediate decision needs to be made to step in and have the best night of their lives.

These tips will create the perfect environment for a killer DP orgy, where all you have to do is sit back, relax, and roll with the night. Orgy noise should of course be audible to everyone at the Jesus Burgers house, and for best results, invite all of your closest friends to join in on the fun (no fatties!). 

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