Summer is kind of almost over, so you might as well get as much beach time in as you can. It’s your last chance to achieve that golden tan, but more importantly, it’s your last chance to finally dump your smelly summer boyfriend, and what better place to do that than one of these beautiful L.A. beaches. Between the smell of seagulls and sea breeze, he’ll never know what’s coming.
It’s a scenic drive out to Malibu for a beautiful beach with rocky cliffs and lots of space. Perfect spot to dump him if ya know what we mean. Going to Malibu at all is a commitment in and of itself, so if you leave your boyfriend here, you probably won’t really be obligated to drive him home. Let him pay for a $700 Uber back, you’re a free person now.
There’s lots of privileged girls running around here, and they’re all definitely doing that thing where they say “prune” while a picture is being taken so it looks like their lips are bigger than they are. This will make you feel better about yourself when your very recent ex-bf is flirting with one of them post-breakup. There will be a fair amount of cute guys for you to bounce back with. The only downside is, they’ll all be wearing pink Vineyard Vines trunks with pineapples on them, so take that as you will.
All along the shore of Manhattan Beach there are tons of nice big beach houses that will look absolutely gorgeous in the break up Instagram your boyf will post in about an hour. There are plenty of rich old dudes here too. Hook one smoking a cigar on their patio, and you can spend the rest of your summer days wearing silk robes and drinking champagne instead of going to In-N-Out with that loser Mark for the 37th time.
Perfect for laying out your beach towel, relaxing, getting tanned to a golden crisp, and doing some light yoga. So healing and regenerative. You know who’s not helping you heal? Your boyfriend. He’s toxic and no good for you. Tell him that you guys just have different life views. Let the waves crash up on his feet while you crush his soul. Namaste. Now, get lost.
Basically, free yourself of all commitment and enjoy the beach while you can. Have fun out there!
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