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7 Completely Logical Reasons LimeBike is 100% Better Than Bird

Out with the Bird and in with the LimeBike! While Birds are impounded left and right, Lime has found the perfect opportunity to roll right in—pretty salty, right? From their color all the way down to their wheels, Lime has proven itself to be worthy enough to surpass those pigeon scooters. As Bird continues its spring migration, let’s us $1-to-start our way into the next generation of scooting.

7.) The hydraulics on the Lime are significantly more comprehensive:
They’re bigger and they’re badder, and they’re here to kick Bird’s tailfeather. Since they are they noticeably larger and heavier–hell, right on the edge of clunky–that must mean they’re more durable!

6.) It’s black AND it’s white!:
Such inclusion and diversity in one scooter. Leave the exceptional liberal trendsetting up to Californians. Who would’ve known all it took was a scooter to close the racial gap in America!

5.) Lime—it’s the main squeeze:
Ha. Get it? (You squeeze limes.) But seriously, with Birds being an endangered species now, the Lime takeover might start inspiring humane societies to take up their cause. Before long, Sarah McLachlan will be singing sad songs with a Bird scooter in her arms.

4.) Those plastic wheels are peak revolutionary engineering:
We can’t go wrong with those plastic wheels! Rubber wheels are so yesterday anyway; that enhanced traction and superior engineering–boring! Who needs safety when a Lime drag race is so much better? They epitomize originality; they were the first scooter program after all (right?). OK, they’re a little dangerous, but that big ass suspension makes up for it!

3.) Lime rhymes with slime:
They’re fun! So is slime! Suck that, Bird!

2.) They’re green, and green makes you horny:
Don’t underestimate the power of green. You would think that their color corresponded to their name, but let’s be real here: the moment that bright green goes wild, something rushes through your blood and makes you tingle in places that shall not be named. Like you didn’t already know, though.

1.) CSUN had Lime before we did—that must mean they’re UCLA worthy, right?
We have UCLA Bikeshare, but this entire time CSUN had LimeBike. The fact that CSUN invested in the company before we did makes it totally valuable, kind of like their degrees! If CSUN can get professors and vape dads to ride LimeBikes, then it must work wonders! Switch now or forever be pulled over by UCPD, who are always on the hunt for Bird.

 

Know anyone at one of these schools? Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $100 if they’re hired!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO ON OUR GUERILLA MARKETING PROGRAM!
EASY MONEY!

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