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The 8 Stages of A Husky’s Night Out As Told By SpongeBob

There is indeed a SpongeBob meme for any and all situations, even for a measly little group of Huskies like us. So, without further ado, we present a Husky’s night out as told by SpongeBob memes.

1.) The Last Meal:

The meal before a night out is without a doubt the most important. It’s the foundation upon which you build your buzz for ultimate litness without dying. Sometimes it’s hard to eat a proper meal considering the absolute trash dining halls try to serve for dinner. But unless you want to end the night with a big trip to the hospital that can’t be explained to your parents without admitting you’re an alcoholic, you’ll force yourself to eat.

2.) Getting Dressed:

Finding the perfect outfit for a night out can be a stressful and emotional experience. Sometimes the perfect outfit you had picked out to impress the crowd in a dirty basement just doesn’t look as nice as it did when you planned it out in your head and you just stand in front of the mirror. 

3.) Finding THE Outfit:

Then once you’re two meltdowns down and ready to pack it all in and stay home, you try the first outfit on again and suddenly you look as good as you felt before you tried on everything in your closet and you’re ready to face the night ahead. It might also be because of the pregame, but you do you.

 4.) The Pregame: 

This is make it or break it. Either you leave with a nice buzz or you puke and sit the rest of the pregame out naked in the bathrub. There is no in between and we all know it, whether the pre is at an apartment or a bar. For those friends who inevitably die every time after saying, “tHiS dRiNk AiN’t ShIt,” this one’s for you.

5.) The Function:

10 p.m. rolls around faster than you thought it would, and suddenly the sober driver is texting that they’re downstairs, and everyone is running around trying to pour drinks and find the last $5 they have to their name. But as you all pour out of the car and bombard the door, you’re hit with the “who do you know here?” Just say John. There’s always a John.

6.) The Last Drink:

In a perfect world, everyone respects their alcohol limit. But this world is far from perfect and the people on the floor at every frat party prove it. To have that third cup of jungle juice or accept that last shot of Dubra … that is the question. So tempting… so deadly.

7.) The Freaky Deaky:

Sometimes you just end up coming across a person so irresistible, it would be almost a crime to not go home with them. On a campus full of so many people, there are options for all. Make sure to wrap it before you tap it, because the dorms aren’t a proper place to be raising any littles.

8.) The Hungry Huskies:

Apart from the alc and the nut, half the reason for going out is to be able to reward yourself with one of the many late-night food options. After hours of responsible drinking (and by that, we mean not spilling your drink), nothing satisfies your hazy cravings more than wings or pizza or one of D.P. Doughs over-priced calzones.

To everyone who is sick and tired of seeing Spongebob memes everywhere, we’re not sorry.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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