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5 Ways You Might Be Able to Actually Use the Rec This Week (Or Not)

Going to the gym is a good idea in theory, but after trekking around campus in the hail after miserably failing to master the bus system, going to a packed gym is never fun. Here are 6 ways you can try to make the most of the sweat filled Husky haven that we all know is way too small, just like our willpower.

5.) Use the Buddy System:
Going to the gym alone is serious business, but going with friends is a party. Not to mention the possibility of convincing said buddy guzzling 5 pitchers of beer at Ted’s afterwards is a well-deserved gift after hitting the cardio machine for a grand total of 20 minutes.                                                                                                                                            

4.) Headphones Are Everything:
If you’re not bumping “Bad and Boujee” while working out, then there’s literally no point in working out. Without headphones you’ll go crazy listening to the grunts of the people around you, because UConn houses the only gym in America where there is literally no other music or sounds playing besides a eerie human orchestra of grunts. Then you’ll start to wonder what the lifeguards down below are thinking about… and then you’re done for.

3.) Timing:
If you’re thinking about going at a time that is convenient for you, then you are making a mistake because you are guaranteed to be there at the busiest time. This is when you’ll see some fellow Nickel-goers that you prefer not to have to speak to while sober. The best times to go are never, in fact, because THE GYM IS ALWAYS CROWDED. If all else fails, there is weightlifting elective you can take if your schedule is that pathetically open.      

2.) Do Not Shower:
If you want to be left alone at the gym and force people to depart from the achingly few cardio machines that do exist, then not showering is the way to go. Chances are that most Huskies are just as disgusted with the small size (of the gym), and your stank will turn them right out the door.

1.) Don’t Go and Walk to Class Instead:                                                                                        
We’ve done extensive testing and have found that the average trek from C-lot, W-lot, and X-lot to any building on campus takes between 15 and 20 minutes. Instead of being a lazy jerk and riding the Red Line right to Engineering, put on those Bean Boots and head bravely out into the cold. Not only will you clock in about an hour or so worth of walking a day, your body will be burning more calories trying not to freeze to death in the Yukon climate.

The gym at UConn is a jungle of Huskies all trying to achieve their dreams. It’s too bad that there’s 31,624 students here and a facility that’s smaller than a lecture hall in Austin. Our suggestion is to get two birds stoned at once and do curls/run in place during in lecture to save time and reduce crowds.

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