The college bar scene is composed of the biggest debauchery the world has to offer. Here at UConn we have our pick of the litter: Huskies, and Ted’s. And Grille (except not right now, RIP). With Nickel Night and five/four drinks for a dollar, depending on your location, what more could you ask for? And just as our grandma warned, if you get too fucked up at Nickel, you’ll make bad decisions and shit’s going to happen. Just don’t let your bad decisions be the reason you never see another Nickel Night again.
5.) Selling drinks from the bathroom:
It’s hard being a broke bitch/boi and knowing that what lies ahead for your Thirst Thurs involves paying $7 cover when you have precisely $7.44 in your bank account until further notice. At that point, nothing becomes too crazy a way to make money. Like perhaps starting your own bootleg Nickel Night straight from the handicap stall at Huskies. Not sure how you could really make any cash off of it, but to each their own. Be careful not to get caught.
4.) Illicit DJ-ing:
Yes, Alicia, we know you and your girls LOVE Cardi B and can totally connect with her and her struggle in Bodak Yellow and surely, the DJs getting around to playing your “jam.” What we don’t know is why you tried to hop in the booth and force your way. WHERE IS THE CONSENT?! Music at the bar is kinda like dating you see, you have to go through a few dubs before getting to THE ONE. Let the DJ do his things or you’ll never get to hear your jam.
3.) Crowd surfing to the front:
We get it, Nickel Night is the most confusing and overwhelming hour and forty-five minutes of your entire week, but you don’t get four drinks for $1 without a little hard work and dedication. Push the bitch from chem that tries to copy your clicker answers aside and stick your tits into the nearest guy’s face so he’ll prioritize your four cups over all of the other girls tapping on his shoulder. Just don’t think you can crowd surf. You’ll either end up dead or causing an embarrassing amount of damage, and worst of all, never seeing Nickel again.
2.) Pants the security Guards:
Just because Bradley from Chai Tea Latte didn’t let you into his frats social last semester doesn’t mean you can just go around pants-ing him while he’s tryna working hard to make that alc shmoney. The student security is probably among the best on this campus, definitely less efficient than UCPD has ever been. Consider yourself booted and banned if you go near the crotch of any of these men.
1.) Dump your ice on the floor:
Honestly, were you raised in a fucking barn? Or do you just enjoy making peoples lives miserable? Anyone who’s ever stepped foot into Huskies, especially during Nickel, can confirm that at times it feels like wading through a baby pool because of all the melted ice “accidentally” poured on the ground. But Huskies said fuck y’all when they instituted the “pour your ice on the ground and get banned” rule. Civilized people reallllllll quick.
Lately, the bars have been the only true hope left for our dub of a “party school.” Know your way around the bars and don’t get kicked out like an idiot. In the words of Sadie Saxton, yeeerrrrr welcome.
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