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Charter Oak Residents Claim Legal Use of Marijuana on Location Technicality

Last year, our nation chose a new president and Massachusetts decided to roll up a joint in response. Coincidently, students who live in Charter Oak Apartments recently made claims that they actually live in Massachusetts due to a technicality.

Charter Oak, less formally known as “Charter Smoke,” is home to many enthusiasts for the cause to “Make Charter Oak in Massachusetts Again.” These students have shown overwhelming support for making the complex pot-friendly.

One student activist relayed to us rather passionately that “we smoke pot here every day. How else do you expect us to survive the shitty winter in CT if we can’t stoned and re-watch Gilmore Girls?”

Undergrad Duke Silver used the election as basis for his argument. “Now that we put Trump in the White House it’s time we put a blunt in my hand. I mean if Trump can get elected, literally anything is possible in this great nation,” Silver said.

But residents who want to seriously legally 420 blaze it need a better argument than being home to a large number of Patriot fans, and being one of the most Northern Residence Halls on campus. Luckily, some students have done some stoner research.

Residents of Charter Oak argue that the apartment buildings were constructed on land where the pilgrims of Massachusetts first grew their hemp in the New World.

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This was, of course before being forced to move north towards Boston. Some history majors argue it is also where the pilgrims had their first “smoke sesh” with the Native Americans just minutes before indulging in the famous Thanksgiving meal.

This claim is based on archeological research done on the surrounding area, where countless signs of smoke-sessions can be found, such as marijuana pipes preserved in the ground. There also appears to be remnants of one of the earliest trap houses ever built in the U.S. This story is certainly a stretch, but it seems that students put more work into this research than they have towards passing any of their midterms.

“Look, Thanksgiving is coming and it’s time we show how truly thankful we are by honoring early smoke sessions between pilgrims and Native Americans on the land where they put aside their differences and smoked with one another in peace,” said Charter Oak resident Marty Simms.

Either way, the state will have to make a decision on the student’s case soon enough. If all goes to plan, you are likely to find most of your classmates and even some professors hanging out around Charter Oak this Thanksgiving break.

 

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