You don’t need The Black Sheep to tell you there’s been some bad no no’s around campus in regards to the phrase “It’s okay to be…” In response to events such as, for respectable privacy purposes we’ll call it “It’s okay to not be Lucian Wintrich, Fuck Off,” a group of flower child students created the site It’s Okay to be Human. Great. We’re all for it. But as the catty bitches on the fraternal futon that is UConn media, we will literally hyperventilate without commenting on any newcomers.
We’re all human, but each of us is a special human. Let’s celebrate that by letting everyone know it’s okay to be a YOU human, you special little sunflower seed.
It’s okay to watch anime porn in Laurel 9 a.m. lecture:
Sorry my guy, this is fucked up. But in the spirit of acceptance we’re gonna let it slide. Everyone’s got their own tastes, so who are your fellow students to judge? And with Stifano droning on about Knapp’s Staircase Model again you can guarantee the 3 rows behind you will be tuning in, so dial up the brightness on that shit.
It’s okay to be the campus emo:
Your mom insists this is still just a phase, but we don’t. We understand that your gauges and midnight black attire are representative of everything Paramore has said through song. UConn is all about diversity now more than ever, despite the trend in Spring Concert headliners, making it the perfect time to show off your true self with the shining pride that is plodding through Fairfield with a monotone expression. We’re all a little goth, it’s a spectrum!
It’s okay to be tucked in by your homies at night:
Anyone not in a frat has wondered what goes on in a house full of hormone raged boys with oceans of salmon shorts and UConn snapbacks. Do them all a favor and confess just this one truth. You’ve proven you’re a man with all that butt chugging everyone loves to see, so don’t feel ashamed. Feel ashamed about the eighth beer pong toga party you’ve thrown this semester.
It’s okay to be the mom friend at frat parties:
Or the dad friend, either way you’re the one carrying the insulated cooler with salty snacks and lukewarm water bottles for the journey down Celeron to keep your drunk friends safe and happy. Of course you never forget the condoms either because you’re not like a regular mom, you’re a cool mom.
It’s okay to be the one vegan in South:
Everyone sees you skipping the chicken and potatoes line for the gluten free fridge with nut milk and almond butter anyway, why not use this time as a catwalk? Be proud of your dedication to flavorless, unfulfilling food and show the world you’re better than what the ice cream coolers have to offer. Fuck dairy.
The millennial generation is all about making sure you feel dope in your own skin, and UConn is here to make sure you’re only slightly made fun of for it. But all out of good intentions. As the established beacon of inclusiveness and excessively long urls here at UConn, we are excited for this new development.
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