With an hour and 45 minutes of four drinks for a buck, it’s a race against the clock power-hour of chasing shots with mixed drinks. Not only does your drink of choice for the night say a lot about you, but Nickel drinks themselves have a lot of stereotypes too. If you’re looking for a new way to stereotype your fellow Huskies without having to talk to them (puke) just keep these in mind when scanning the bar.
If you told Sammy Adams back in 2012 that 2018 white girls would no longer ask for vodka sodas at the bar, the party anthem that is “All Night Longer” might be a little different. Imagine a girl with straightened hair, wearing “jeans and a nice top,” and heels tall enough to make a nun curse, and you’ve got your vodka sour. But has she been robbed by a UConn bench player? Not yet, but there’s five others in every direction.
These are easy to confuse with vodka sours because there is really no difference between them. Both have an equal chance of fucking you all the way up and you can’t be sure if there’s anything in the cup besides the sour lemonade. A whiskey sour is the quirky girl who’s so not like all of the other girls because all of her guy friends, who are so much less drama, tell her she’s weird and she’d rather have deep conversations about like, the universe and stuff.
We get it, you bleed blue. You knew the entire alma mater before getting accepted and were totally raised as a UConn baby. You’re hip with all the traditions like getting trashed Thursday-Sunday, and reminisce on the crazy spring weekend parties your older siblings used to tell you about. Now that you’re a Husky yourself, you have to show the rest of the student population how with the shits you are. Unfortunately, this isn’t the way because this drink is trash. Sorry.
Here for a good time, but not a long time. As the life of the party, tequila sunrise comes with one mission in mind only: getting litter than the Rockefeller Christmas tree. They’re always the one’s yelling at their friends to drink quicker because they HAVE to beat their Nickel drink record of 14 drinks. But it’s also the friend who is dead and gone by the time 9:45 comes around. Oh well, they don’t call it to-kill-ya for nothing.
Gin and Tonic:
You should be forced to keep a minimum of at least 50 feet from every other human being on this earth because chances are you are currently or soon to become a psychopath. That’s really all there is to it. No hard feelings, even psychos deserve some fun from time to time, just keep your fun somewhere far away from the rest.
Think about your favorite Nickel drink and compare it to these scientifically proven results. Is this the type of person you want to be friends with? Is this the type of person you become after a few drinks? As long as you answered yes to all of the above and aren’t a gin and tonic enthusiast, you’re solid. If you answered yes to both for gin and tonic, we recommend making your way to student mental health services.
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