Listen, I’m a dog. I’m a husky, of course I’m a little round around the belly, but dammit my vet told me I’m the optimal weight for my breed.
I was going to spend the week leading up to my birthday, MY BIRTHDAY YOU GUYS, revealing my five favorite things about UConn but not anymore. I mean I’ll try, but now it’s likely I’ll spend the week just staring in the mirror regretting all the hot dogs I stole from you at a tailgate. Forget I ever even mentioned mac & cheese kid.
You know what @hyhcr7 maybe you’re right, maybe I do need to lose some weight, but dammit it’s not my fault no one ever taught me to catch a frisbee. It’s not my fault I only go on walks from Chandler to Hollister, and it’s really not my fault that I love snacks.
But @hyhcr7, it is your fault for fat shaming me even after my vet, the nice man who rubs my belly and gives me treats before he shoves his fingers up my nose said that I am an optimal weight for my breed.
What kind of good boy would I be if I wasn’t as fluffy as or as full of treats as I am. Thank you for your concern, but my vet, Dr. That One Guy I’ve Seen A Few Times Who I Kinda Recognize says I’m an optimal weight for my breed.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.