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The 5 Things Necessary to Align For a Perfect Husky Snow Day

No Husky enjoys bundling up like an Eskimo and trudging through icy slush, but when we got that UConn Alert text it all seemed instantly worth it… to go trudge through the icy slush. Yesterday, Susan allowed us a whole extra half-day to enjoy doing literally anything besides sitting in class #PraiseSusan, our benevolent and wise leader. If you’re so lost for ideas because you never thought you’d have two snow days in two weeks (and drank yourself into oblivion last snow day), we’ve got you covered:

5.) Horsebarn Hill Sledding:
What better way to convince yourself that graduation isn’t coming than sliding down a hill of snow with your friends like you’re 10 years old? We suggest you do a couple of shots of schnapps before, after, and in the midst of sledding down Horsebarn so you’re in the same mindset as  your GPA – just skating above passing (out). If you don’t have a sled, borrow a tray from the dining hall and improvise, damnit.

4.) Beg D.P. Dough to Feed You:
We don’t advocate driving in unsafe conditions, but food is a must on a snow day, and none of you scavengers have proper food in your house. Go directly after sledding because your body is already impervious to the cold (aka you’re too drunk to feel) and order up a Maui Wowi Zone, then thank the cashier for saving your life and try not to audibly orgasm at the hot food all up in your mouth.

3.) Binge Out:
If you really took advantage of the early snow day announcement then chances are you went pretty hard the night before. That’s okay, because now you can do what you always dreamed of while sitting in class — lying in bed and binge watching whatever your heart desires and not thinking about the NRE 1000 project you haven’t started. Without thinking about it too hard, snow days are basically the school’s way of giving you permission to put off everything until tomorrow. 

2.) Pond Hockey:
If you’re ambitious and looking to have some fun you can always get some pond hockey going on Mirror Lake. It’s simple, just spawn some skates and a stick, pick up a 30 of Busch Lattes and hit the lake. Not into hockey? Build an igloo on that little island and hot box the shit out of it until public safety catches on to what you’re doing. Scared of falling through the ice and drowning? Watch The OA and realize it gives you superpowers or something, we didn’t really understand that entire show.

1.) Snow Day Cocktails:
What are snow day cocktails? Well, if you’re a normal Husky, you probably ran down to Storrs Liquor the moment you got the text. But like any proper alcoholic, you forgot your mixer and now you’re stuck with a gallon of Dubra and nothing to chase it with. It’s time to raid your friend’s fridge at Hunting Lodge for anything that’s not alcohol, and you better do it fast because your day drinking starts now.v

Snow days are what we Huskies do best, so we know that one or all of these are probably already on your to-do list today. Enjoy it while you can because Susan is definitely not giving us three snow days this semester. 

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