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8 Surefire Ways to Piss Off a UConn Student

Pissing off a UConn student can be harder than you may think, since we just emerged from a booze-filled depression-hibernation and are now in full on nice-weather darty mode. But just so you’re ready, here are 8 ways someone from Eastern or whereverthefuck might try to piss you off as they see us killn’ in the game.

8.) Mention the state of Mississippi:
Fuck Mississippi that shitty ass state, we’re still the best. It was a hard fought game no doubt, but everyone at UConn knows that 9 out of 10 times Mississippi would catch this work. In fact… cash us next year because UConn will win the title or we’ll change our names to Big Dick Nick and Phat Patty Matty Fresh AF.

7.) Complain about the cold:
We get it, it’s cold. Your hot breath saying that sentence isn’t helping. Surviving this winter was like “Nam, it sucked and we don’t want to hear about it. All we want to do is crush a Straw-Ber-Rita and sprawl out on the lawn of the U and make this place look as much like a fake college from the movies as we can.”

6.) Say “yeah” repeatedly:
We weren’t about to go see Lil Uzi this year because we’re still not over how shitty Fetty Wap was, but damn, at least he showed up. Everyone who was drunk and ready to have a good ass time don’t want to be reminded that our boi couldn’t even come thru. The word “yeah” is now banned from campus, joining “Mac ‘n Cheese” and “Adobe.” 

5.)  Claim that Buffalo Wild Wings in Manchester has better wings than Wings Over:
The people spoke during our drunk food bracket, so unless you want a bunch of belligerents cussing you out in a public place, keep your opinions and shitty (over-sauced) wings to yourselves.

4.) Pretend to have a lot of tires stacked up at home:
We get it, it was only mildly funny the first time someone posted it on Buy or Sell. Even then, it’s still kind of a dick move when all of those people really had their tires stolen, so you know, shut up. 

3.) Mention budget cuts next year:
Dear Leader Herbst has approved of several budget cuts including cancelling the school’s subscription to Adobe software. How else are we supposed to create dank memes and make hilarious video edits of the day’s hottest trends? Get your priorities straight Susan.

2.) Complain about parking:
We all have that one day burned into our memory when we were forced to park diagonally in X Lot to get to an exam on time, only to arrive shortly after to a dreadful orange envelope that we fought unsuccessfully. This is no way to start a conversation, don’t be that person.

1.) Cut the Nickel line:
The mother of all offenses. We don’t care if you know the guy at the door because he’s dating your cousin’s friend. Unless you got a VIP pass from the Tav, you have to stand in line like the rest of us alcohol-dependent degenerates.

There’s actually a hell of a lot more ways to piss of a hungover and sleep-deprived Husky, so watch yourselves out there and try not to be a douche.

 

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