Connect with us
Connect with us

UConn

Psychoanalyzing the Shit Out of Laptop Stickers Spotted in Homer B

Midterms week is upon us and that means nightly library dates with the main man in your life, Homer B. No matter how hard you think you’re gonna go in the lib, you’ll only study 25% of the time. The other 75% is split up between texting and psychoanalyzing the shit out of people’s laptop stickers. What better way to get to know the stranger two tables over from you than by seeing what they present to the world through $2 personality stickers?

5.) “I’m Not Like, A Regular Girl”:

This Husky would never listen to that pop bullshit because that’s TOO mainstream, and claims to only listen to real rappers like Drake but only knows the bed and momma part of “God’s Plan.” Unless it’s Thursday night Nickel time, then you can hit her with the “Songs That Get Drunk White Girls Excited” playlist on Spotify for the ultimate fun. You can spot her on campus in Adidas and her letters, but she won’t even know why she’s in a sorority because females are so much drama!

4.) Lives and Breathes Sports:

If you didn’t know that the head coach of the Mets’ son’s oldest sister’s baby daddy is an Aquarius, then don’t even speak to this person. This is the one who will come back at you about anything you’ve ever said. Unless you want a face full of spit and a night full of insults, don’t walk near the vicinity of the rec center while they’re balling.

3.) Artsy For The Aesthetic:

With a mix of lily patterns and some Tumblr quotes, this girl or guy, if that’s your truth, is basic from head to toe and embraces it. Like our first Husky, she turns up to the “Songs That Get Drunk White Girls Excited” playlist on her way to class. A big believer in “men ain’t shit,” but she’ll still be texting Bradley Chaddington the morning after the Sigma Apple Pi rager telling him how her mascara is too expensive to cry over him, as she cries.

2.) The Brain Cells That Got Away:

From frat party to the third floor of the library, these Huskies are not the brightest but oh boy, they’re definitely the littest. Here for a good time and most likely a long time, depending on how many classes they fail per semester. Not much to say about them except go to class from time to time and for the love of god turn your case around, your stickers are upside down!

1.) The Closed Book:

Worse than having too many stickers on your laptop is having none. What kind of psycho has a completely clean laptop with no trace of quirky stickers? If someone can’t walk away with a singular fact about you based on your laptop, you’re boring and someone that we don’t need on our campus. Get ya sticker game up.

Did we describe you better than your horoscope ever could or did we totally offend you because we spilled some straight facts about you? Next time you hit up RedBubble really ask yourself, what idea am I going to be giving my fellow Huskies with this décor?

 

Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame:

Continue Reading

More from UConn

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top