We all had expectations of what life would be like as a Husky until we actually became one. Through extensive data collection we have now outlined a typical week here, so you can properly explain to your family and friends back home why you have bags under your eyes, a pain in your liver, and the haunting need to blast Migos and rip Fireball when the clock strikes 6:00 p.m. on a Thursday.
Goes one of two ways. 1) You get up early enough to get the UConn Daily Digest notification and actually go to class because holy shit time flies and the semester is almost over. Or 2) you smash the mf snooze button, send out a quick email to profy, and sleep in because that Friday party at Carriage turned into a whole weekend thing and you haven’t slept in your own bed in days.
This is your typical day at UConn. You grind out lecture in Laurel, get your steps in by walking to the Chem Building, and maybe even do some reading at the Benton in between classes. Of course, if you forgot an umbrella, you will look like a soaking wet rat while doing all these things because everyone knows it always rains on Tuesday at Storrs.
Even though it’s #humpday you’ve been putting your heart out on the line by busting your ass off in Homer B. You’re tired, you’re confused, and you’re causing a scene in Oak Hall to the point where the cops are called on your dumb ass. After spiraling down into a crippling depression your only hope is the idea that you will in fact make it to the weekend.
It ain’t over yet. Thursday is the new Friday but that doesn’t mean you can choose to not function as an adult. After class and working on that beach bod at the Rec Center you decide to throw away all your gains by getting plastered at Nickel. You didn’t plan on drinking that much but that’s just how the night went.
You woke up at Snail House and now you’re frantically checking the bus schedule to figure out which line is going to pick you up. Speaking of lines, the line at Dunkin’ gives you a chance to get some last minute studying in for that 30% total grade exam. Now that you survived the war it’s time to destress and for Huskies that means crushing $6 Coors Light pitchers at the Tav, or winding up at some darty saying “whose frat basement is this”?
We all know the deal by now… it’s for the goddamn boys. Take all your homework and commitments and literally throw them out the window as you go over Horesebarn Hill on your way to West Hartford for a bar crawl. You work too damn hard not to chill all day, poke a little smot, and play video games after all is said and done. You earned it, we live this shit.
You wake up, most likely bunked up in the same bed with two of your best mates and you don’t know how you got there. With a slow and silent understanding you all wake up, embrace the slight hangover, put on the Ray-Bans, and walk over to Wally’s in the same clothes. It takes some time but you come to your senses after a few hundred Puds and some WebMD searches into potential liver failure symptoms.
We only have four weeks like this left here at UConn. Spend the rest of it balancing the Husky life by showing up to class to take iClicker quizzes and pounding a flask of Admiral Nelson’s in the back of lecture.
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